Nigeria is full of young women, out of school, successful, entrepreneurial and ready to take on the world except that according to society, there is one major thing missing, the ‘MRS’ title. So they turn to random dates, recommendations from family and friends, the occasional social media hook-ups but most of all they turn to God and the church, hoping to find a man in the church, actually what I mean is going to church to find a ‘man’.
While having a conversation with a group of single Christian women, one of the things that came up was the search for a spouse especially one that had the ‘fear of God’. It amazed me that about 90% of the ladies on that table believed that the best place to manhunt was in the house of the Lord. Each of them had picked ‘popular Lagos church brands’ to be active members so they could be noticed by the eligible bachelors in the church. Like most validation stories go, everyone had their testimonies to share on how this had worked for Sisters Titi, Uju and Amina. Some others shared their strategy of attending different churches so they could meet different types of bachelors, from the happening Pentecostal church on the mainland to the Catholic one on the island that supposedly has a lot of ‘oil money’, I mean what better man to find than one that’s rich and loves God.
This is where I insert my disclaimer; I am not saying a church is not a good place to find the man of your dreams, after all we meet people in different spaces and places but what I am saying is going to church with the main purpose of finding a man is absolutely ridiculous and in a way a mockery of the church. So what happens if you find God and not a man in that church, do you switch churches, do you have an agreement with God, what exactly do you do?
I tend to liken a church to a hospital obviously not in every aspect but you could argue that they have certain similarities. A hospital is where you find people with various ailments, some severe and some not, looking for treatment from the doctor; very much so a church, where you find people with spiritual ailments, some severe and some not, looking for treatment from the ‘man of God’. But I haven’t heard of women choosing hospitals to go to because of the type of eligible bachelors that use them …well not yet as we know in Nigeria nothing is impossible and I have heard of a lady who applied to companies for a marriage progression instead of a career one.
* A lot of young women who have these motive of searching for a ‘money making, church going man’ most times fall prey to men who are in search of redemption themselves and end up with stories that touch the heart. It’s pretty much like attending Lagos weddings these days, it’s no longer about the couple but about the small chops (which I love) and the friends of the groom (male friends of course). In churches, it is no longer about God for some people, it’s about what and who they can get; everyone hiding behind the makeup, good clothes, bible quoting sessions and people throwing all caution in the air (especially single sisters) because in their words ‘he attends my church’ then he must be good.
I honestly would like to know who started this trend, when finding men became the main purpose of going to church and not finding God, when women got dressed, joined the choir or ushering departments so they could be noticed, yelled the loudest hallelujahs and offered to be prayer partners when they themselves needed prayers. Ok I think I am ranting now but maybe some churches need to edit the grace and end it with ‘and we shall manhunt in the house of the Lord forever and ever’….then again who am I to judge.