OPEN LETTER TO THE ISLANDER

Dear Mr Islander,

Since this is the era of open letters, I have a few things to say; actually I have a lot to say but will keep this as brief as possible because I need to get back to work (as that’s what pays my bills at the moment).

Since when did Mainland to Island become long distance? Often times I hear words like ‘I can’t imagine dating someone who lives on the mainland’ like the mainland has now become some area left behind for those suffering from leprosy.  As a matter of fact, I would like to know the genius that came up with the notion that a mainland-island relationship is now classified ‘long distance’. Last time I checked, it only takes 30-45 minutes to drive across the bridge to see someone you care about/love that lives on the other side. I admit that with traffic it could take a lot longer but let’s be honest the traffic on Ozumba is equivalent to the traffic on Third Mainland Bridge on some days; so unless you are looking for a booty call at 2am in the morning there is absolutely nothing long distance about it.

You go about saying you would never date someone who doesn’t live in Lekki, VI, and/or Ikoyi, but you are willing to date someone who lives in the ghettos of any foreign city because she is ‘abroad’ and has a watered down accent.  Have you been to Ikeja lately? Oh I’m sure you haven’t because you can’t imagine dating someone on the mainland. Well in Ikeja, we have almost everything that you can find on the island except a karaoke bar that allows us sing 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, that’s because we are practical, like who really needs to sing that much anyway?. I agree that the crowd at these spots may be different from those on the island like the woman I saw trying to ‘price’ chicken at KFC in Surulere but you must admit that some of these experiences add to the spice of a wonderful and memorable date.

I am tired of you always telling me to ‘stop by’ ,‘pop by’ or ‘come over’ like somehow it is a shorter distance for me to drive from the mainland to the island than it is for you. It’s a 50/50 thing here so let’s meet halfway like at Yaba or Surulere, or maybe Lagos Island (Freedom Park can be a nice romantic spot on some days). Actually, I change my mind, stop being lazy and drive to Iyana Ipaja if I ask you to, do you even know where that is?

So hence forth, I shall no longer drive to our dates or accept to see a movie at The Palms or Silverbird. I will sit at home, wait for you to pick me up and then have you drop me back home after our date (don’t even think about offering to pay for a cab). Truth is, if you cannot cross the ocean for me then you’re not man enough. Shikena!

Yours faithfully,

Miss Gidi

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19 thoughts on “OPEN LETTER TO THE ISLANDER

  1. I am new in Lagos, live in ikeja by the way. I was at some place in lekki last weekend and it felt like I was in Oregun. So since then, I decided that all my dates shall be either on the mainland or on a ‘pick me from home and drop me back’ basis

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  2. Let’s not lie, it’s far.

    Then again, aren’t there ‘boys’ on the mainland?

    If a dude feels she ain’t worth the distance he can date his neighbour. Ditto for the ‘girl’.

    Larry Sushey

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  3. For me I don’t see why people make things an issue when they are not. The drive isn’t a biggie if you care for the person.
    Ps many islanders are tenants who have landlords that live on the mainland.lol. so do not be fooled. It often islanders that are tenants that you hear complaining about mainland being far.

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  4. I once dated someone on the mainland, where as I live on the Island. Truthfully, it was just too much of a hassle, it already requires a lot of patience to drive past the toll gate, not to now mention the traffic going through Ikoyi to 3rd mainland or eko bridge. By the time you meet up with the person, you’re pretty much a bit ticked off by the nonsense traffic and then have to face the reality of making part 2 back home. Yeah, peeps are lazy, and I don’t even like to drive to v.i or ikoyi most times. Going past toll gate requires something special happening on the other end…and that something special better not go past Ikoyi. The traffic and heat is wahala mehn, and I bow for folks that use public transports to make their ‘long distant’ relationships work. It really is not about the settings for me, it’s just more about the convenience…and traffic wears down on the soul! I have structured my work and personal well enough to avoid traffic 95% of the time, I just can’t deal (I used to live on the mainland whilst working on the island, 6 hrs in traffic was a nightmare) So, holla to Lekki correct guys that don’t live within Lekki 1 and VGC 😉 lol

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  5. This one is a no brainer.
    If a guy says he can’t come and see you because your place is far.. he doesn’t care about you period.
    if he does, the thought of you will keep him going.
    There was a period of about 3 months, that i would drive from Ajah to Agidingbi to see a girl that hadn’t even agreed yet, and it didn’t feel like anything.. and there was a period i was talking to a girl that formed so much that i got irritated and my excuse for withdrawing, was that she lived far off, and this girl lived in Lagos Island and i lived in Surulere.

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