Or maybe I just need to start claiming another state of origin.
By proper definition, your state of origin should be where you were born even though in Nigeria, we all claim where our ancestors were born as our state of origin, I guess it’s all for uniformity sake but I’m one of the rare people who look at that section of those annoying forms and wonder if I should write where I was born or where I am told my state of origin is…Anyway, that’s not the gist.
A while ago, I was introduced to an eligible young man, you know how these ‘introductions’ go, your friends begin to pity your single situation and decide they could be the cupid in your life by introducing you to every prospect they can think of. in this case, the young man in question was about 33 years old, had a good job and ‘exposed’, by exposed I mean he had lived outside the shores of Nigeria for a while. We were of the same tribe (but different states), same religion, had similar family values, shared lots of interests and had the ability to talk about everything there was to talk about. So obviously everyone (being the introducers) expected we would take this ‘thing’ to the next stage of ‘dating’. Well they were wrong!
Fast forward a few weeks of being friends, Mr Man decided to stop talking to me without notice, I mean there was no fight or misunderstanding; he just stopped calling, stopped receiving my calls and replying my messages. As a sure babe that I am, I decided to move on but not without getting to the root of the matter.
After some minor investigation (I only had to ask my friend, who asked another friend who then asked him..so it won’t be too obvious) it was brought to my notice that even though we got along very well and he liked me a lot; he could not go any further because we were not from the same state (of origin)…Yes, STATE!. Which left me a bit confused and surprised, I mean I can try to understand tribal prejudice (even though it’s also a frivolous reason) but choosing not to be with someone just because they are not from your state? Now that’s a new one and definitely needed to be documented.
According to him, his family had an order that their children could only marry people from the same state so he had to go with it to avoid family problems at the expense of his happiness. I know I have heard of relationships not working out due to family/tribal differences, religious/denomination beliefs but being ‘rejected‘ for coming from the ‘wrong’ state is just wow!..
So my question is, should the ‘state of origin’ or tribe of a potential partner even matter in the first place? And should parents be defining the characteristics of the person you should to be with?
Anyway as for Mr Man and I, of course I cannot change my heritage or deny my ancestral state of origin, it’s all part of the total package, take it or keep walking…his loss not mine