Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of spending time with one of my ‘little’ friends, I call her ‘little’ because she’s only 21 and ..well you know how old I am. One of the things I like about ‘younger’ girls is that I am reminded of myself at that age, how care free I was and how I thought I could make key decisions especially with men.
At 21, I was done with university so like most recent graduates, I believed I was mature. At that time what interested me the most in guys were their educational status (must have completed uni), height and looks. When I say looks, I wanted what I thought was a manly man, none of that pretty boy look, a man with swag, a bit rough and tough…a reformed bad boy was what I was I was looking for (you know kinda like the ex-convict who found Jesus in prison…I exaggerate but you get my point). My thought pattern at that time was, if he was once bad, then he would have the swag that media makes so attractive but being good means he would know how to treat me well; I thought by having a reformed bad boy, I would always feel protected so I had to find that middle ground, the best of both worlds they call it.
Fast forward a few years later and here I was listening to little Sisi seeking my ‘mature’ advice in picking one of the 3 guys that are on her case at the moment (some girls have it good sha). One of them, BB (Bad Boy), was everything her parents had warned her to stay away from, he hasn’t achieved much at 27 but had the swag, the good looks to go with it and according to Sisi ‘the chemistry’. UB (Used to be Bad) had failed out of Uni in the UK thanks to being ‘bad’ and is now back in Nigeria trying to be better while finding his way through one of the popular private universities in the country. GB (Good Boy) on the other hand has had a crush on her for a while, hasn’t quite made a move but at 23 he is done with Uni and is currently taking his professional exams to be a chartered accountant while working with as a graduate trainee in a top firm; all fingers point to GB as a good choice but little Sisi claims she is confused.
At my age, I’m wondering why Sisi is confused, I believe a young girl who wants something serious will definitely go for GB, with or without the glorified ‘swag’. I mean, he is on his way to being stable while the other guys are neither here nor there at the moment. On the other hand, I can almost see why Sisi is confused, she’s at the age of searching for adventure, having that trophy boyfriend, the man with the rock hard abs that will make all her friends green with envy, you know the one with the extra swag that can lick his lips and make your knees weak…the type that TV tells us is more fun and even though he is bad, he can turn good just for you… #lieswomenbelieve
While listening to Sisi speak some more, I began to wonder who/what was responsible for this female obsession for bad boys? What is the illusion of wanting something/someone that is obviously not good for you? Why do so many young ladies ignore the good guys ’till it’s too late?
At the end of it all, Sisi admitted that she thought the other 2 were more ‘manly’ for her and could ‘protect’ her, her parents of course would never agree for the bad boy so she’s considering the middle ground. Her exact words were ‘I am a strong woman, I don’t need a man that I can push around and GB looks like a pushover, he’s a really good guy but I like him as a friend, that’s it’
*sigh* No wonder they say nice guys always end up being friendzoned….