“When Boy meets Girl” is no longer enough

‘Miss Gidi you need to call this prophet, he’s really good, maybe he can tell you what the problem is, you need to get married soon’

Those were the words of a very concerned friend over my single status, to her it made no sense how a good girl who had everything going for her was still single, she always thought I would be the first to get married and right now it looks like I would be the last because I am not engaged and I do not have a serious boyfriend to show. Her verdict…it had to be spiritual, there had to be a spiritual force out there maybe from my village or from a rejected lover that has stopped me from moving ahead in this race for marriage, so now she is recommending a prophet, I mean if all the dating rule books have failed then a prophet had to be the answer…right?

I often hear of barren women who visit native doctors so they could get pregnant, young men who join certain cults to get rich quick, single ladies who consult spiritual means with pictures of suitors so they could get married. People now pass around recommendations for prophets, pastors and native doctors like it’s a new snack to try out. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that sometimes certain people may have one form of spiritual issue or the other but most times people are so impatient with life that they would do anything to fast forward events to get what they want when they want it.

Even with all of this in mind, I was shocked that I had to encounter such; I guess it was only a matter of time before someone would recommend a priest in some faraway village like in our Nollywood movies. What even shocked me some more was when I started doing my research, I found out that this has actually become a norm in Lagos, a lot of single women in Lagos are now turning to spiritual means so they could get married quick, some even have some supposed seers on speed dial so when they meet someone new, they simply text the guy’s name to the seer so prayers could begin. They say they are doing everything they can to solve their ‘problem’ …well I call it the highest form of desperation.

Anyway because Lagos is filled with gist, I was told about some girl called Aisha (obviously not her real name). Aisha had been in a relationship with Akin (not his real name) for a while and decided that in order for him to be faithful to her, she would go see some ‘baba’ that her friend Yewande recommended. Upon getting there, the baba tells Aisha that she needed to put something under Akin’s bed so when he falls asleep, he would think of no other woman but her and marry her quickly. So Aisha follows the plan, puts the item under Akin’s bed and then goes back to her home (I guess she didn’t want to keep thinking of herself). Unfortunately for her, Akin didn’t sleep in his room that night, he had ‘company’ over so he fell asleep in the guest room while his friend, Obi, slept in Akin’s room. I’m won’t go into further details on this gist, all I want to know is why Aisha didn’t just walk away from the relationship if she knew she could not deal with Akin’s infidelity, why stoop so low to such means?

Back to my conversation with my concerned friend, I let her know that I was not interested in her prophet. The only form of spirituality that I would be consulting is praying to my God to make me a better woman for the man who I would get married to at the right time and also making that man a better man for me.

So my advice, Ladies you need to stop acting like marriage is what defines your existence as human beings and focus on what is important like being better people to the society and to yourselves. Give yourself some respect and stop being so desperate…


I’m over this…

Don’t forget to be a part of the #singleingidi giveaway, the more the merrier and good luck to all the winners in advance 🙂

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Mz Gidi

Writer | Poet | Thinker | Creator - SingleinGidi.com|

15 thoughts on ““When Boy meets Girl” is no longer enough”

  1. “So my advice, Ladies you need to stop acting like marriage is what defines your existence as human beings and focus on what is important like being better people to the society and to yourselves. Give yourself some respect and stop being so desperate”

    Thank you for this! May God give strength and grace to be a better woman and wife for when the man comes,cos the mgbeke things one hears na wa!


  2. Gbam! Preach it my sister… Why play with fire over something/ someone God may not want for you? Why sow evil into what should be beautiful and respected?


  3. Sadly i come from a family where both my parents believe in ‘prophets’ looking into ur past, present and future for INSURANCE PURPOSES. funny how, coincidentally we had a shouting match just last night ‘cos according to my them, something is wrong with me…ask me why? i have been on a particular job for 3 years and since i havent been able to secure another job, then my boss has ‘skeletons in his closet’…they are implying that maybe he is doing shady stuff to keep us, his staff from getting other jobs. let me not even get into the marriage issue and arguments i have had with them. every potential suitor must be verified by their pastor…that’s their litmus test.
    i dont wanna go into the many crazy details, but trust me its a very disastrous place to be….and sometimes i really wish i wasnt born into that family. my folks have the most archaic mentality u can ever imagine…. I could go and on, but let me save you guys the crazy details
    One thing i believe tho, i have a GOD who doesn’t sleep and who makes all things beautiful in his time….a God whom i do not have to consult any prophet to speak to or hear from. I speak to him whenever i want to and where-ever i am, and i know that in due time, he will answer my prayers….
    P.s – sorry for going all spirikoko on ur post….lol. but this topic just hit home.


  4. Anything outside of God is unacceptable. Nothing wrong with fasting, nothing wrong with praying. If your heart genuinely desires marriage. I met my husband and he proposed way quicker than was accepted. My point is when its ur time, its ur time. People need to stop peddling marriage as if its a holy grail. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare. Ask half of lagos.


  5. I like how you prayed to be made ready. This marriage thing people approach it as a bonanza instead of a ministry. You’re getting married so you can serve your partner/spouse and your God and your children (men and women). It’s a life of sacrificial love filled with loving benefits and some trials. The desperation of the pursuit these days, it’s as though a lottery was being chased. Even lotteries are not chased like this!


    1. Truly “lottery are not chased like this” I really do think it’s really not necessary for women going all spiritual with d prophet stuffs, simply because they ain’t married and would really love to. Marriage should be some thing which u happy about and both parties (man & woman) are ready to go into and not something d woman or man is been forced against their wish true spiritual means; because I believe such relationships are doom to fail even before it gets started.
      P.S: Ladies pls let’s give ourselves some dignity and breathing space, the right man will defitnitely come and by God’s special grace we shall all get married to our mr and mrs right. Amen!


  6. For a while, I had heard of these sort of things of seeking ‘spiritual assistance/help’ in the name of husband (or wife as they case may be) and it is just too absurd. I will never understand why some women make it seem like having a husband is the beginning and the end. Let me not even get into the marriages that have crashed because of pressures and “spiritual assistance”. Like you said Miss Gidi, ideally women should focus on being that good person and asset into her relationship. The same goes for the men as in Gidi these days, you just find that these guys now are looking for rich father-in-laws and waste no time in putting a ring on it. Its a circus.

    Nice post!


  7. Orisirisi in this Lagos . Prophets to get married now?

    Why are we always in a hurry for something that will come when it’s supposed to.


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