Whose is it anyway?

What won’t I hear in this Lagos? Sometimes I wish I made these stories up but I promise you I do not. Lagos just happens to be a city with all sorts of characters as human beings. Anyway let me go straight to the gist

A few days ago I was having a conversation with a good friend, actually it was more like a consoling session because she just broke up with her boyfriend of about 6 years. She met him and started dating him at the age of 25 and now at 31, he decides that he is not ready for the commitment…that’s gist for another day because we honestly need to discuss the topic of how long you should last in a relationship before walking away due to lack of commitment (or lack of ring and marriage).

So here I am telling her ‘things will get better’, ‘there are many fishes in the sea’, ‘she deserves better’, ‘she won’t die an old spinster’ and all those things you say when a friend is fresh out of a relationship; I also had to listen to her rant about her ex-boyfriend, all he did to her, how she suffered, how she should have known, and everything we women say in the usual man bashing stage we go through after a breakup . Then she said ‘Can you imagine he wants everything back?’


He wants everything he ever got for her during their 6 years together. He used to buy/surprise her with a lot of fantastic gifts while they were together. I won’t lie, some valentine’s days I would beef her knowing that he must have gotten her something fantastic while I wallowed in singledom but now that the relationship is over, he wants everything he ever got for her. -_-

The shoes, bags, outfits, lingerie, jewelry, Christmas gifts, valentine’s, birthdays, the ‘just because’…he wants it all back and even proceeded to send her messages after a heated argument to know when she would send it all back.

You see there are two sides to this, one side would be to give it back, to prove what a jerk he is, to have peace of mind and get rid of any reminder of him in her life; while the other would be to keep it all, after all she never asked him to get them for her in the first place and at least she would have something to show for the time spent.

Now my question is Ladies, if you were in her shoes, would you give it ALL back and why? And Guys, would you ever ask an ex to return everything you ever got for her no matter how little?

As for my friend, oh boy would have to return 6 years and draw blood from a rock before she gives him back a thing.


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Mz Gidi

Writer | Poet | Thinker | Creator - SingleinGidi.com|

18 thoughts on “Whose is it anyway?”

  1. Give it back ke? Mehn if that was the deal I would be a rich geh by now o! 9 years and many gifts later, I will have a boutique in Aba and be sipping Mai Tai on a beach in Barbados but I digress.
    When my relationship ended, i thought about giving him money and all but thought about all i had done too and just felt no need to do that, it also looks insulting no matter how the relationship ended, people shouldn’t do things like that.

    I don’t think anybody should get anything back, except you signed a prenup and who does that in relationships (or do they? 😛 )

    I think it’s crass for a man to ask a woman for items purchased whilst they were in love and all, just not right!!!

    I will not give anything back sha and that’s it, if you get ten heads come my house and collect den you go know how ship take jam plane for up 😛


  2. Wow .. Long thing.personally cos of anger I might want to give everything back to wipe away all traces of him and cos peoplemight say I kept histhings cos I’m still hanging on to him. But I won’t give it back,if its valuable I will keep it because when he got it he knew I deserved those things if I get rid of it,it would be re-gifting to a cousin or friend or someone random or the trash.how I dispose the gift is up to me.


  3. To hell with that. He is lucky he isnt getting f**ked up for being a professional time waster. She needs radicalists like me in her life. I used to believe in letting God fight our battles, but I couldn’t resist the urge to deal with my ex. By the time I made his life miserable for weeks and cost him n5m even his mother was begging. Truth is many folks in this environment are wicked and self centered. My ex even would pick introduction dates and then back out. I would break up he would beg. This was a man I didnt want a relationship to begin with.
    Those 6 years of her life she should learn a valuable lesson. There is no trophy for going through sh*t with anybody. We women need to stop holding on to men that dont deserve us. Love= peace of mind. I met my husband august 2013, married him in the registry june 2014 on my 32 birthday. She isnt going to be single unless she wants to be. If she knows she is truly awesome, she should own it and move along. Life is too short to hold on to silly immature people.
    ps she needs to block and ignore the guy. End of story.


  4. is the guy high on cheap drugs? wants what back? will he collect his cash back from a slut whose pu**y is not tight enof. he should go fuck himself. I WONT RETURN ANYTHING EVEN IF HE GOES TO HELL AND BACK!!!


  5. ahn ahn give it back ke? didn’t she buy stuff for him too?? after 6 years???? you’re right, miss gidi. 6 years is way too long if you start dating someone mid-20s, wth. people shouldn’t mess with other people’s time and hearts. i’m looking forward to your write up about that, but my personal limit is 2 years. at least to get engaged.

    lol @ pynk! you’re so my hero. i need a radicalist like you in my life lmao. there really is no trophy o! forget blocking and ignoring. she needs a baseball bat to unleash her anger and beat the hell out of him the next time he comes asking for HER stuff. what nonsense.


  6. Haba, that guy must be the yardstick and blue print for the definition of a Mother fucker.

    After 6 years of collecting her love, time, energy and body, u still want ur worn out gifts back. She truly needs a baseball bat and a gun (nail gun) to stick some sense into his brains. What effontry. When my useless ex and I broke up, the nigga still sent me cash via my account sef knowing he messed up big time. I collected it and acted dumb on the isssue. She should hurt less, she dodged a major bullet. Her man will come in good time.


  7. I have a feeling your friend probably isn’t telling you everything that happened, I feel the guy feels cheated, she probably cheated on him that’s y he wants everything bk


  8. his a mitch ..bitch whatever is being used to classify a “man”.. give back what ? your friend dodged a bullet for sure.


  9. My dia I know someone who demanded for items he bought for a girl he wanted to marry,list included juice and assorted biscuits I no fit shout! Met someone who was all serious as in marriage guy sent me money to come visit oh,the money no go do oh,even began to request I bring all sorts plus insisted I make a particular hairstyle! Note the money was not going to be enough for transport oh! He started requesting for the money back even sent his account number


  10. Some men are just unbelievable. I agree with d folks that said she dodged a bullet. Its better to be single than to be married to some peeps


  11. Tell your friend to take everything he bought for her to his house, throw it all in his compound, pour kerosene on it then light it up. She doesn’t even need to keep anything that’ll remind her of him… she should burn everything in front of him.. trust me, she’ll feel 10 times lighter and better


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