Don’t worry, be happy!

This week has been very busy and I have not had the time to sit and write…okay that’s just an excuse for being a slacker especially since we had one day off (Happy Independence Nigeria!!)) and we have a long weekend ahead woohooo! As most bloggers/creative people, I believe I am in my season of having a ‘writers’ block’, you know that time that you can’t figure out what to write or the right words can’t seem to get to your fingers from your brain…what I’m trying to say is that I am sorry for dulling this week (I guess I should have said so from the start)

2014 has been an amazing year so far, almost all my friends (male and female) have gotten engaged with some getting married and I am usually the first one to scream for joy and post pictures on all social networking sites I can think of including picking the perfect hashtag for the wedding (because obviously ‘hashtaging’ is the new black). To show support, I have actually spent quite a bit buying aso-ebi this year despite my rant and I still have 5 more to buy before the year is over (that’s if no one else gets engaged this long weekend and sets their date in December). But the real highlight of my year so far was last weekend when I got the news of the engagement of a friend who means a lot to me.

It is a highlight because a few years ago we became closer to encourage each other in this journey of life. Through ups, downs, heartaches and my occasional mood swings, we still found a way to encourage each other and found solace in our relationship with God. Even though we hardly see each other we have successfully built a bond like sisters that some days I attempt dodging her so she doesn’t sense that something may be wrong with me….but this post is not about her (I’m yet to figure out what it is about actually)

Recently, a friend of mine said ‘It’s amazing how you celebrate the happiness of your friends…it’s rare’ those weren’t his exact words but it went something like that and I realized that I had spent almost 5 minutes gushing about my friend’s engagement, what an amazing guy she was getting married to and how excited I was. Again this is not about the engagement or my friend.

After that statement, I realised that it is actually rare for women to celebrate their fellow women especially single ones when their friends get engaged. There’s always that moment of silence after the good news, that period of ‘Why not me God?’ or the ‘Na wa o’ which often leads to some form of animosity and subtle jealousy at the engaged friend. If not managed right, it could lead to an obvious rivalry which leads to backbiting and remarks on the size of the rock, the authenticity of the diamonds to analysing the husband to be and finally evaluating the wedding if it was a great one or just average or quite recently, if it was a ‘money miss road wedding.’

I guess what I am trying to say is that we women need to learn to encourage each other and be happy for one another. Whether it is a promotion at a job or owning a successful business or getting married to their life partner, it is important that we learn to celebrate one another and be genuinely happy not looking for loopholes and reasons to downplay the happiness of the other. It doesn’t matter if the man she is getting married to is your taste or not, all that should matter is that she is happy. And if you happen to be a bridesmaid, please don’t whine about what you are going to wear and how it doesn’t suit your body type, it’s not about you, it’s about your friend the bride-to-be so suck it up and be happy in the most horrendous looking way you could ever be.

At the end of the day, the institution of marriage is not a competition, no one is taking attendance of who comes first and who finishes last. Forget the pressure, forget the ticking biological clock, dance your behind off at every wedding and enjoy each day of being single because you won’t be for long.


P.s – You should see my friend’s rock sha…dang! it’s blinging!! And I promise to be back with a bang next week 🙂

Oh and this weekend be sure to check out the stage play MYOPIA by Chidinma Uzodike, which will be staged on the 5th of October 2014 at Swiss International, D’Palms Airport, Ajao Estate, Off International Airport road.

MYOPIA, is about a young girl’s determination to overcome family and societal discrimination against the female gender.

MYOPIA, is about a young girl’s determination to overcome family and societal discrimination against the female gender.

Do you see Single in Gidi on the printed backdrop? 🙂


3 replies

  1. Being happy for your fellow woman is fulfilling scripture. Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. Am sure if you do a census you will find out that majority of those still single are those who always have a snide comment about others.


  2. Aaw bless. We will all be there to support you also. I think it is important for women to encourage each other. But our society also encourages unhealthy and unnecessary competition.


  3. …… the institution of marriage is not a competition, no one is taking attendance of who comes first and who finishes last.

    I am happy God has given me the grace to be happy for people around me, it’s a beautiful thing celebrating people’s joy and achievements.


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