In Nigeria (and I suppose everywhere else) getting married is a big deal, so it’s with no surprise that when ladies finally meet their potential husbands, get engaged and then married, it becomes a huge ceremony and achievement to be celebrated (and I am not even trying to be sarcastic). What I have also observed is that when some women get engaged and/or married, they decide it is the best time to cut off a lot of their single female friends, it’s almost predictable and somehow worrying.
In order to understand this better, I decided to ask a few questions as to why some married women ‘break up’ with their single friends once they earn the Mrs title and here are a few responses I got:
- Ideologies change – obviously since the women are now in different phases of life, there are certain things that the single female friend may not understand .e.g when a married woman has to take permission from her husband before having lunch with a once female best friend who is still single.
- The husband does not like the single friend – this is explanatory but when the husband says he doesn’t like his wife’s friend then that friend has to be cut off for the sake of the marriage.
- Nothing in common – I guess this is the same as #1 but for obvious reasons single women and married women no longer have anything in common to talk about once one of them gets married.
- She could steal the husband – apparently some married women feel insecure when their single female friends come around their husbands because they could be ‘jealous’ of what the married woman has and therefore try to steal the husband in question (too many dang Nollywood movies I tell ya). So it’s a lot better to get rid of the single female friend before they get any ideas
I’m not trying to start a single versus married women debate here but it amazes me that when in the midst of a lot of married women in Lagos, it turns out that their major concern is their husbands leaving them for another woman, especially the single ones, so they start out by weeding out the obvious single ladies they know and possibly do not trust.
I’ve never been married before (duh!) but for those who have or are engaged, is there a special reason for letting go of your single female friends? Especially since the husband/engaged brother does not cut off his single male friends…and for the single ladies who may have been cut off because their friend got married, how did it feel and what did you do?
As for me sha, none of my married/engaged friends have cut me off yet…what can I say?…everybody loves Miss Gidi