We’ve got mail: I don’t trust her – Chi

TGIM!!!!! , yes I am one of the few people who thank God it’s Monday (don’t hate!) or maybe it’s because I’m just naturally hyper. Anyway today we’ve got mail from Chi and after the last Dear Miss Gidi post, I’ve decided I shall leave the floor open for my lovelies (you guys) to respond 🙂 


Source: GalleryHip

Hey Miss Gidi,

This is a bit weird for me because I’ve never sent an email to any of these kinda agony aunt things but I can relate with most of your posts and I think the comments are usually practical so here goes

I started dating my current boyfriend about 3 months ago and we’ve been good except for one thing that seems to bother me, he has a female friend that I am not comfortable with.

He spends a lot of time talking to her (like almost every day) and she always seems to know what’s going on with us. The thing is I have never met her in person but I know of her and she knows of me as well and according to my boyfriend she is not harmful because he has known her longer and if he wanted to date her he would have but he didn’t.

She always comes up in our discussions, and when we have arguments it’s usually gets worse when he says what she thinks which of course makes me even more upset. One time we argued about something and he didn’t apologise to me until she told him to because she made him realise he was wrong.

I just fell like she has a lot of control over my boyfriend and I do not want that happening because I don’t trust her, I just don’t.

So what do you think? Am I being paranoid? Or is there something I should do?




Chi is a very straight forward kinda chic sha, she didn’t even try to toast me before letting me know  her wahala LOL …(I still love ya for emailing Chi!).  As usual I have my thoughts on dealing with the female friend BUT do you think this female friend is a problem or should Chi just relax? 

Use the comment box below and let’s discuss 🙂 

If you want to reach out to me or share your own story on the blog, you can send an email to singleingidi@yahoo.com or follow SingleinGidi on Facebook, twitter and instagram 


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Mz Gidi

Writer | Poet | Thinker | Creator - SingleinGidi.com|

5 thoughts on “We’ve got mail: I don’t trust her – Chi”

  1. Hmmm. Although I do agree that there are certain instances when another woman can creep into your relationship and you have to be paranoid, I do have another belief that gets in the way. And that is, never sacrifice your friendships for a relationship. Why? Because should things go south, your friends are the ones who will help you pick up the pieces.

    Now, I’m not saying that you and your boyfriend are going to break up. I’m not saying that you guys wouldn’t have your happy ending. I’m just saying that he’s been dating you for three months and he’s been friends with her for years. He’s learned to trust her judgment because she’s looked out for his interests during that time frame and you should respect that. I’m sure you have a friend or two like that. Those rare people who can identify when you’re being stubborn and even when you’re not being honest with yourself, know the right things to say to get you to come around. It doesn’t mean they have “designs” on you or want to date you. It just simply means that they know you well enough to know the right thing to say.

    This could be the case here. What I think you should do (and please note, this are my thoughts. You don’t have to follow them) is having a meeting with both of them, in a quiet place, a neutral place. Whilst all three of you are together, bring the matter to the table and have all three of you, sitting together, (so it won’t be a case of he-said-she-said) air it out. Look at the cues, non-verbal and otherwise, to guide you and see if she’s being aggressive or confrontational in any way. Of course, for this to work, you too have to be firm and non-confrontational as well.

    All the best.


    1. i beg to difer itenoria,theres a very thin line called respect for their space..haba! dey are in a relationship its not a threesome something biko..yes he can ask his “friend for advises frm time to time..which one is she cordinating dia relationship fr dem…if ure female i bet u will not find it funny urself..my dear poster pls av a round table talk wit ur bobo..let himbknow ure not coming btwn dem oh..buh his friend shud respect d boundary of ur relationship..if shes so perfect he shud goan date her den…wats all ds female friends ish sef..mscheew


      1. Lol. Abeg o Yettie. I’m still female last time I checked. Don’t give me a sex change biko. rofl ;).

        I will also like to point out that it’s not the girl giving advice that’s the problem. The problem isIthe boyfriend asking for advice. And like I said, that’s understandable because it’s built on years of friendship.

        Chi, you haven’t met her yet. All this might just be paranoia. Or it might have an element of truth. Meet her and see what happens.


    2. Im sorry but ur in a relationship with someone thats ur man not anodas u know,hes not meant to be discussing or have another speciallady/female friend but you,hes not meant to be calling another babe like everyday for anyreason unless hes mum or sisters lols for real……people tk their partners for granted ,if u had this mad hat or dress would u let another person be wearing it or would u guard it jealously???Better lay the cards on the table and let him know u cant live that way,if u can get acroos to the other lady dont yell at her but juust ask her how she would feel if she was at ur end???if that doesnt work get a friend as well and call him all day so ur man gets jealous and sees the pic clearly if not of that works then I guess il send u my nos and treat u the right way huh lols
      Seriously,emotions can start anytime,from daily calls to hugs to anything thats why a guy and another woman cant be just close friends,sumthings gotta happen 1 sad lonely day..anyways thats my advice though,like I say when im in a relationship to my partner—I dont want another female friend but u,to laff with,gist with nag with,cry with,gossip with,gist bout God with,flirt with,make love with and e.t.c everything from u and u alone cos anything from another lady friends can cause a tornado/hurricane unknowingly .


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