SHOULD YOU GO PUBLIC?

No one wants to share a sad story, no one wants to be the topic of ‘gist’, no one likes his or her business out there (unless of course that’s what puts food on your table) and I would like to believe that no one likes drama.

 

BUT

Everyone wants to share a good story, everyone wants to let the world know when they are happy about something new in their lives and with the advent of social media, we have all turned into mini-celebrities with some of us choosing to be active on the likes of Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or BBM or Whatsapp – making our lives accessible to everyone…friends, family, strangers, stalkers and even exes.

In times past, when people start out in a new relationship, one of the things they had to face was the issue of when to let their family and close friends know about their new partners. There was a form of tradition to it and most times not a lot of ‘outsiders’ got to know until the wedding day. But now things have become a bit different and there is the debate of ‘the public declaration’ especially on social media.

Of course I am assuming that everyone at one point or the other does a public declaration of their relationship either by changing their relationship status on Facebook, putting up pictures which could suggest a union or direct and indirect shout outs. For some it’s from the moment they officially start dating while for others it’s on the day they get engaged, truth is, if you are young and social media savvy in 2015, the likelihood of having a public declaration is moderately high.

Recently while having a conversation with two of my really good friends, one of them pointed out that she had no plans to have a public declaration until she got engaged, mostly because she believed that people are naturally nosy and with social media, they would find it very easy to keep track of the number of failed relationships before finally getting married. The other friend believed that a public declaration means you have nothing to hide and builds trust in the relationship because then everyone knows who the ‘main chic’ is (which again is another topic for debate).

I could see where each of them was coming from because I happen to be one of those that never forgets pictures of couples on social media and I eventually notice when they get ‘missing’ and if you are close enough to me, I will ask you what happened. At the moment, I have a few social media friends that I could give the chronicles of their relationship history, from the hookups to the blissful months to the troubled times and the eventual breakup. One time, I had this Facebook acquaintance that got engaged and I remember thinking ‘FINALLY O’ #dontjudgeme

When put in that position though, I struggle with the pros and cons of going public, on one hand I don’t care what people think and on the other hand, I do care because a discounted bride price is not on my agenda #justkidding (ok maybe I am 10% serious on that one) but in reality the idea of having people who aren’t close to me know details of my life kind of irks me. And then there are other questions I have to answer like ‘What happens to the pictures if we break up?’ ‘And if we do break up when is the right time to take down those pictures and status updates e.t.c?

As I am obviously still confused on this issue, I would like you to let me know what you think; is there a right time to go public with a new relationship? Should you even go public with your new love? What happens if you break up? Is there usually a mutual agreement for these things?

Okay I think that’s enough questions on this matter

Use the comment box below to share your thoughts

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Still on going public, nominations for the Nigerian Blog Awards are up and we would like you to pleaasssseeee nominate Single In Gidi for the following

– Best Humour Blog
– Best New Blog
– Best Relationship Blog

You can nominate by going to www.nigerianblogawards.com

Thank you 🙂

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6 thoughts on “SHOULD YOU GO PUBLIC?

  1. I nominated. Its a very dicey topic. Best is follow your heart but have a limit. Too much of everything is bad. It can attract jealousy and other soulish intentions from people. Ok #biteMe but its real.

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  2. I would say whatever creams your coffee. Publicly declaring love for someone is some people’s love language so they literally cannot help it. While some others would hide everything. Me I do mine subtly, up until I wedded and had a baby, some people didn’t even know I was in a serious relationship, talk more married with a baby. Which was why a certain someone wanted to set p with me on bbm till I put him straight…

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  3. The 1st thing is
    STOP ALLOWING EVERYONE TO BE YOUR FRIEND ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

    And yes i’m shouting (the caps). people go and on about not wanting pple they don’t know in their personal space but then they are the same ones who accept everyone on fab, run open profiles on IG and even carry “i must have the most friends” to Linkedin.

    I personally do not accept anyone i do not know or folks i know but i’m not on speaking terms with to any of my social media pages. Linkedin is even more critical.There has to be a business need for us to have a linkedin relationship.

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  4. Why would anyone want to announce their relationship on social media???? U should better concentrate on making the damn thing lead to marriage and a happy marriage at that before u bother sharing. Sharing a boyfriend on social media is just to make urself feel good so people know someone is AT LEAST pricing u in the market, so u feel better u are “better than” the singles ones without boyfriends.
    My advice quit focusing on what and when to share on social media, and focus on u and the man or u and the woman! Work on what yall got to make it better. The love will share itself if it’s meant to last!

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  5. I dont have this need to announce aspects of my life as they happen, and i dont see why people are eager to.

    Holding onto information lets you decide how to share and when to share. Just my take. I announced my wedding i think 2 months after on facebook, a few days after on instagram.

    Maybe it stems from working in a war zone where you had to be accountable for the information you shared.

    I think folks should learn to keep more to themselves.

    http://www.pynk360.com

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  6. Lord have mercy, I almost lost it when you said discounted bride price :D!!! I don’t really use social media anymore, but i’ve never mentioned a SO on there even when I was active. I’m the kind of person that’s always taking pics with people, obviously there will be the people that are very common but I never actively said ‘this is my….’ Apparently Nigerians have found a way to steal your destiny from the Internet…so i’m staying off social media for the time being, lol.

    Simi

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