No one wants to share a sad story, no one wants to be the topic of ‘gist’, no one likes his or her business out there (unless of course that’s what puts food on your table) and I would like to believe that no one likes drama.
Everyone wants to share a good story, everyone wants to let the world know when they are happy about something new in their lives and with the advent of social media, we have all turned into mini-celebrities with some of us choosing to be active on the likes of Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or BBM or Whatsapp – making our lives accessible to everyone…friends, family, strangers, stalkers and even exes.
In times past, when people start out in a new relationship, one of the things they had to face was the issue of when to let their family and close friends know about their new partners. There was a form of tradition to it and most times not a lot of ‘outsiders’ got to know until the wedding day. But now things have become a bit different and there is the debate of ‘the public declaration’ especially on social media.
Of course I am assuming that everyone at one point or the other does a public declaration of their relationship either by changing their relationship status on Facebook, putting up pictures which could suggest a union or direct and indirect shout outs. For some it’s from the moment they officially start dating while for others it’s on the day they get engaged, truth is, if you are young and social media savvy in 2015, the likelihood of having a public declaration is moderately high.
Recently while having a conversation with two of my really good friends, one of them pointed out that she had no plans to have a public declaration until she got engaged, mostly because she believed that people are naturally nosy and with social media, they would find it very easy to keep track of the number of failed relationships before finally getting married. The other friend believed that a public declaration means you have nothing to hide and builds trust in the relationship because then everyone knows who the ‘main chic’ is (which again is another topic for debate).
I could see where each of them was coming from because I happen to be one of those that never forgets pictures of couples on social media and I eventually notice when they get ‘missing’ and if you are close enough to me, I will ask you what happened. At the moment, I have a few social media friends that I could give the chronicles of their relationship history, from the hookups to the blissful months to the troubled times and the eventual breakup. One time, I had this Facebook acquaintance that got engaged and I remember thinking ‘FINALLY O’ #dontjudgeme
When put in that position though, I struggle with the pros and cons of going public, on one hand I don’t care what people think and on the other hand, I do care because a discounted bride price is not on my agenda #justkidding (ok maybe I am 10% serious on that one) but in reality the idea of having people who aren’t close to me know details of my life kind of irks me. And then there are other questions I have to answer like ‘What happens to the pictures if we break up?’ ‘And if we do break up when is the right time to take down those pictures and status updates e.t.c?
As I am obviously still confused on this issue, I would like you to let me know what you think; is there a right time to go public with a new relationship? Should you even go public with your new love? What happens if you break up? Is there usually a mutual agreement for these things?
Okay I think that’s enough questions on this matter
Use the comment box below to share your thoughts
Still on going public, nominations for the Nigerian Blog Awards are up and we would like you to pleaasssseeee nominate Single In Gidi for the following
– Best Humour Blog
– Best New Blog
– Best Relationship Blog
You can nominate by going to www.nigerianblogawards.com
Thank you 🙂