Most people over the age of 25 have a dating history, for some it’s a few paragraphs long while for others it could be a television series split into seasons and episodes. Having a dating history also comes with possibly having a few people you would like to remain ‘history’ but in a city like Lagos where everyone is somehow connected to everyone else, the chances of running into ‘history’ is quite high.

Over the weekend, while having drinks with some friends, the whole talk on how to handle seeing someone you would like to forget came up. Nkem, now married, talked about how she ran into her ex, Toyin, and how her heart dropped at the sight of him. Nkem and Toyin had been together for about three years, she loved him and she believed he loved her as well until she found out via Facebook that he had gotten married to another young lady that his family had handpicked for him. As expected, the breakup was a painful one but she survived, met another man who adored her and got married.

Many years have passed since she last saw Toyin and from what she hears the marriage to the handpicked bride collapsed but seeing him again after so many years brought back that anger that she once had each time she thought of him.

Kunle on the other hand is the cliché Lagos heartbreaker, with the smooth talking lips and breath-taking looks to go, he always has a way to woo even the toughest of the women. To be honest, if I didn’t know better, I would have fallen for one of his smooth talking antics but mehnnn Baba God won’t allow bad tin to happen to mei n this life. His problem though is running into the women he had played games with the past, especially the good ones. Recently he found out that some lady that he really wanted to start a serious relationship with was related and close to another that he had hurt in the past. Well, they no longer speak to each other but let’s just say the damage was done and now Kunle has to face the fact that his reputation precedes him in this Lagos. He is usually very happy when he meets single ladies who have heard nothing of the famous ‘Kunle Jones’.

Nkem and Kunle are on different sides of this issue and even though they do not agree on other things, one thing is for sure and that is, they both wish some parts of their lives could be erased especially when those people/things come knocking. I for one know that there are certain people who I avoid when I see in public because now I know better to stay away from such people than I did before.

So today my questions are, are there situations in your life or people you dated that you wish you could disown? And when history comes knocking, how exactly do you handle it? Do you get upset like Nkem or maybe like me you pretend not to remember who they are and move on quickly? 

Let’s talk about this




P.S – Applications are open for a worthy valentine o 🙂



Categories: Blog, Single Journals

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4 replies

  1. It has happened to me severally in most cases de men wit their wives and kids,u can imagine de bitterness and anger u wil feel towards dem.someone u have prayed to God abt and forgiven but once u set ur eyes on him,resentment rushes back.may God help us.even girlfriends dat did u bad in de past,wat I do is to pretend I didn’t see dem and walk past.met one of my past girlfriend in de bank and she is to pay me,I simply gave her my cheque and watched as her countenance changed wen she paid me dat huge amount wit her eyes green wit envy.I simply counted my cash,left her to wonder how come til Christ comes.so it happens…..


  2. Well, my first reaction on seeing such individual is to “chop chin-chin”! I won’t even try making any cordial moves…can’t afford to create with my own hands a situation whereby someone would gloat or try shun me for whatever reason neither am I ready to bloat some ex’s ego. If he acts civil and says hello, I will return the courtesy and keep it moving!


  3. I am better off with who I married than anyone I dated in the past. Maybe coz I was always the one doing the heartbreaking not the other way round. So I don’t flinch when I run into exs.


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