BEFORE 40

Chris has called a few times since our first and last date even though Nky thinks I am being too picky and difficult, I see no need to listen to that mumbo jumbo from a man who is desperate to get married. I guess it’s okay if a woman is desperate but it’s definitely turnoff when it’s coming from a man, at least for me it is.

‘Miss Akinwunmi, ‘Dr. Tokunbo will see you now’

Oh how I hate hospitals

‘Sunshine! Hmmm well I was hoping to see you walk in with a ring so we could finally discuss possibilities of getting pregnant’

‘Dr T, comedy is not for you, you know why I’m here so let’s get to it because I have a meeting in another hour’

‘Fine, you know your position’

Another year, another ‘checkup’ with Dr. T, the friendly doctor, he’s actually my gynaecologist but I don’t like the idea of going to one too many doctors so I stuck with him to be my ‘overall’ doctor, I mean if he’s comfortable checking down there while asking about my dating history then he can definitely handle a slight fever or malaria.

‘Now that you are over 30, are you considering getting married soon or at least having a child?’

‘You make it seem like I chose not to get married by 30 Dr T. Well having a kid without a steady man in my life is not an option right now, I still have some years for man hunting, if I’m not married by 40 then yes I will consider having kids’

 ‘And marriage?’

 ‘I am yet to find Mr Sunshine, you know, the one that’s right for me’

‘There is no right man you know, even my wife had to learn how to manage my excesses’

‘How about we don’t have this conversation while you are checking out my insides?’

I never understand why Dr T likes to talk about ‘serious’ stuff with my legs wide open and him poking with the cotton bud.

‘Have you ever tried online dating?’

‘I’m not that desperate Dr T, I need money right now and I can’t even manage my Facebook page right’

‘My younger sister met her fiancé on twitter you know, maybe you should give it a try’

‘Twitter is not a dating site’

‘But she found a man there, you can get down now’

Ever since I turned 30, I’ve had to learn to deal with constant discussions on marriage and getting married. My 27-year-old cousin just broke up with her abusive boyfriend of 2 years and all she’s worried about is facing the likelihood of being single at 30, which reminds me I am supposed to call her for lunch.

My mother on the other hand believes I am on a mission to disgrace her in Lagos, while everyone else is getting married and having 1 or 2 babies, I’m here just trying to establish myself. It’s like my whole life changed the moment I turned 30; I realised I had not achieved much in my 20s and a lot of the things I wanted to accomplish I had put on hold till I ‘got married’.

Marriage never happened, my ‘before 30 dream’ never happened and there I was with a hangover trying to figure out what to do with my life. That was when I decided I would quit my job and go after my dreams. For some reason no one seems to understand that, not even Dr T with his knowledge of my ‘history’.

‘Well you’re okay, see you again next year?…with a ring I hope’

‘Don’t get your hopes up, will all these men I see in Lagos, I’d rather be single than have to face yet another time waster’

‘Oh I think I may know one’

‘A time waster? No thanks’

‘No silly, a friend of mine just moved back from the States and he’s looking for a wife, I should definitely hook you guys up’

 ‘Ummmm once again no thanks but don’t worry I’d definitely get a man before 40′

I’m not about to be hooked up with another returnee looking for a wife.

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4 thoughts on “BEFORE 40

  1. Story of my entire life, especially the past about pressing the pause button on following my dreams in your twenties because you thought you’d be married. And now that you want to do the needful, dear old Madre sees it as a personal affront. God help all of us single in Gidi women.

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  2. Dr T must really be close to u, cos I can’t imagine myself doing a vaginal exam or taking a vaginal swab and asking all these questions about my patients dating life, cos am usually trying to make d lady comfortable by saying things like am almost done, sorry etc . On a side note, really enjoying miss sunshine’s stories. You rock

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  3. Marriage never happened, my ‘before 30 dream’ never happened and there I was with a hangover trying to figure out what to do with my life.
    hmm this resonated with me.
    I’m still trying to find out how to explain although i want to be married, i am not desperate enough to say yes to any and everyone one!

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