It has been a while since I (Miss Gidi) posted anything, not that anyone has noticed really (:p) but Gidi life sure has a way of taking over daily living and somehow I end up postponing putting up a post (please forgive me). Luckily, I have a fab team of writers (and more joining soon) who help me out weekly and keep the blog alive while I hustle to pay the bills.
Over the weekend, a friend of mine buzzed me to know what my thoughts were on transparency in a relationship, why people think I am a great counselor on relationships, only God knows but she needed an unbiased opinion and somehow Miss Gidi came to mind.
When in a relationship, there’s usually the question of transparency, not with regards to dealing with the past (like we have discussed before) but with how much you should say to your partner about issues surrounding your life and most of all how much access you should give him/her to your social media accounts?
My friend had called me because after 2 years of dating her current boyfriend she felt it was time to give him more access into her life and by that I mean give him the passwords to all her social media accounts and her personal email. According to her, she had nothing to hide so it was only natural. In return (and I guess out of obligation) her boyfriend gave her access to his Instagram account only, which kind of made my friend a bit upset. Here she was, willing to take the risk and put everything on the table because she had nothing to hide and there he was, restricting the amount of access he could give to her.
Of course it has become a problem and she now has so many questions such as ‘why won’t he trust me?’ ‘but we’ve been together for a while now so shouldn’t this be normal?’ ‘if I’m willing to give him all why won’t he do the same?’ and yadi yadi yada. Her boyfriend though sees no reason to give her the password to every little thing especially since they have a relationship built on respect and trust for one another. She believes there is more to it; he must be hiding something, something that my affect their relationship negatively.
So she came to me, hoping for some validation I guess…and somehow I wasn’t on the same page with her.
See in my opinion, there should be some level privacy in a relationship, just because you are together no matter the length of time does not mean you have to give everything about yourself away. On the other hand I do not subscribe to secrecy in relationships so your partner should trust that they could always depend on you to be open and truthful to them when need be. For example, we could go through my emails or facebook messages together but you do need my password to ‘check’ anytime you feel the itch to.
Obviously my friend didn’t agree with my opinion, in her words “Boys have not shown me enough pepper in this life” so I decided to bring it up on the blog while she decided to go back to her initial plan of getting the passwords out of him by hook or by crook.
I believe she’s being unnecessarily paranoid and is at the verge of denting her relationship but I may be wrong so what do you think? Should she go ahead to push for the passwords or are you on my side for her to let it go? And if you’ve ever been or maybe you are in this situation right now, how did you handle it?
Use the comment box below to discuss