Before I begin, I would like to welcome you to my column on SIG blog, the SIG team put out an ad on Facebook for additional writers and so here I am, ready to share my story to the world, hopefully this won’t out me in trouble but who cares..
Just over six months ago I was propelled back into the dating scene after I finally put a stop to a “situationship” I allowed to carry on for too long. I can finally say I am single without that thought in my mind of “what if” he really isn’t as bad. Yes I am almost 29 and I am single. Yikes! Never thought at 29 I would have ended up single again. You know how when you are younger you have this laid out plan of getting married at 24, having all your kids before 30, and how 30 was such an old age? Well I’m literally a year and 7 months away from that scary age 30, and suddenly I don’t feel as old as I anticipated. It’s called life and it has a way of making you know that you can plan all you won’t but life happens, right?
I have been told I am an unusual beauty, could pass for attractive and sexy and “don’t look my age”, I am well-educated and somewhat don’t need a sponsor; a classic word for sugar-daddy, as I can pay my own bills and save for that handbag if I really want it, in simple English; financially independent … so finding a datable man in Lagos should be easy, right? Welllll……not quite
I quickly learned that being single in a Nigerian big city in your late 20s’ was a totally different ball game (no pun intended, well maybe just a little). You’re not quite a “cougar” but society labels you as ‘desperate’ who should accept anything who looks like a man with two legs and a pair of hands! Well then, let’s look at what is typically available to us single girls in our late 20s:
- The Superficial – for example players only wanting friends with ‘benefits’ and those who think they are too hot to date any lady over 25
- The Rejects – these are the remaining ones no one wants i.e. weird, unemployed, unattractive, creepy
- The Hurting – Hurt and bitter men still hung on the ex
- The Baby Daddy – with a whole lot of baby mama drama
- The Toy-boys – Men in their early 20’s who could adore you, (not a bad idea if you are looking for a temp)
- Adonis in their-mind-type- men who stare at you and wait for you to make the first move so that they have the advantage (wait that’s most guys in Lagos these days right!)
So here I am single, happy and very much into the idea of true love, marriage and the whole nine-yards. Meaning the adventure in this meat market called dating in a big city continues.
On this column I will be exploring my dating adventures as well as other people’s, past and present and the lessons I have had to learn along the way, as we learn together. I welcome your input and stories! C’mon lets figure this finding “the one” thing together, the journey is more valuable when sharing, learning, and disagreeing on love myths and dating theories together!
Looking forward to sharing and learning together with you 🙂