It’s almost the weekend yayyyyy!!!

Here is a comment/request from the last post on Sex as bad as Junk food that I feel needs to be addressed in detail. 



dear miss gidi

I have met great girls, there is this particular one I really like, to be honest, she is the wife I imagined in my dreams, the problem is I am scared she will get tired and walk away because, I am really struggling to be a good man and pursue her.

As you ladies have identified, junk sex makes us guys forget what pursuing a woman is about and almost see it as stress. Since the day I met her, I knew she was different, but she seems kind of withdrawn and has mentioned to me that I am not ready for a relationship and she won’t wait, truth is I am a casual sex regular, but I am getting too old for it and to be honest, it’s very draining. I want out, what would you ladies suggest?

– Anonymous


Hi Mr Anonymous, 

It’s good to know that one junk sex addict out there is willing to hang his boots and settle down with someone who he believes is the woman of his dreams. It’s a win for every single woman out there, however we know it won’t be easy for you because …well any good woman knowing the ‘history’ of a man would be very cautious to avoid being a victim. 

I do not claim to be an expert in such matters, but here are a few things I suggest:

 – Don’t be in a hurry – The problem with most men who are addicted to junk sex is that they are very impatient even when the real deal comes around. They usually think that the ‘ease’ of getting women is universal when in reality it’s not. If you really want this woman, you have to take your time, get to know her, get to understand, be her friend (avoid the friend zone though) and earn her trust. Her withdrawal is simply an indication of her lack of trust for you . 

Stay away from the sexual zone – This may be easier said than done but if you really want to earn her trust your actions have to prove to her that you are not in it for the panties but for the long run. 

– Find out if YOU are the husband of her dreams – Yes she may be the wife of your dreams but if you do not fit into what she wants in the man she would spend the rest of her life with, well let’s just say you are wasting your time (and bugging her). Again get to know her, ask her questions about her life and the future she wants for herself; get to know the kind of man she sees herself with; finally and objectively ask yourself if you are that man or if you could be that man for her. 

Be a better man You have said that you are struggling to be a good man so make that choice and put in the effort. I believe this is a growth process for you so work on yourself while you get to know her. She may or may not be the one you end up with but you would come out a better man from this process and a good example for your children yet unborn. 

On that note, I wish you the best of luck and lots of happiness 


Nothing good comes easy

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Mz Gidi

Writer | Poet | Thinker | Creator -|

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