There are few things in this world more enlightening than being in the midst of a group of women as they chat; even more so a group of Nigerian women when they gist. Often times as a man, you need to be of serious constitution to sit there and “chop yabs” on behalf of Nigerian men. On one particular occasion I was in such a situation and I was listening to ‘war stories’ from the battlefield of dating which made me laugh, but also prompted me to come up with a list of “dating don’t’s” for guys.Before I continue, let me just quickly caveat that in reading these, assume that my target audience is at least a middle class Nigerian who presumably has a job and can afford or has access to a car. We cool? Cheers, now I shall proceed.

There are very, very few acceptable excuses for not having credit (airtime)

I’m not talking of a one-off situation where you unexpectedly run out of credit or you forget to top up, those happen to everyone. Sometimes you’re having such a good conversation that you don’t know it’s been almost an hour. Or perhaps you made an international call but you didn’t realise how expensive it would be. But if there is a habitual pattern of never having credit or you keep asking the girl you’re toasting to call you or you’re not resourceful enough to find another phone, then there’s a problem. It can’t be a case of “I really want to chat tonight, but you have to call me”. If you want something then you go and get it done! There’s also an element of responsibility in this sort of situation if you think about it. If there’s ever an emergency, for you or someone else, you never want to be hamstrung because you didn’t have credit. It’s just not acceptable these days. Even if you’re a man of moderate means, there isn’t any good reason to habitually be out of credit.

Having Credit (airtime)

As a man of moderate means myself, I know just as well as the next guy how difficult it is to get any car, not to even talk of your ideal car or a car you wouldn’t feel ashamed driving. We all want to drive that nice SUV or saloon car that makes the ladies swoon and the other guys nod with respect, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen that way! Having said that, if you’re a man who considers himself resourceful there are ways to sort yourself out, i.e. get a second-hand car. If at some particular point you don’t have the funds to get a second-hand car and at that point you come across a lovely lady that you want to toast, then do the honourable thing and borrow your friend’s car! Lot’s of guys do it and there really is no shame in it because life is tough like that sometimes. Better to have to explain why you had to borrow a car rather than have her pick you up; she’ll understand eventually. From what I understand about women, she will care more that you at least tried to make a good impression that say “yeah I’d love to really take you out but you have to come get me”. It completely defeats the whole purpose of a date. If you can’t organise your friend’s car, then organise car hire. This might all seem like a lot, but again, if you like a girl enough you will do the needful! Not sure how many people I speak for when I say this, but if I didn’t have a car or access to one, then I would simply not ask the girl out until I could sort that out.

Confucius say “A beat up car is better than none”

Being able to drive?!Then again, having a car or not might not even matter if you don’t know how to drive. Well, there could be some good excuses for this, to me anyway, but certainly not to that girl who you’ve been scoping for the past few weeks! You might even have a car and a driver who can take you everywhere, but what happens on the day when the driver is off? Or perhaps when you guys go out for a late night drink and then you have to release the driver? Who is going to drive her home? It’s possible that you didn’t ever have to learn or you don’t trust yourself driving in Nigeria, but then all these things are linked to women feeling safe and secure. I watched a video online about mistakes nice guys make and in the video the lady that was being interviewed mentioned the need for women to feel protected. Similar to a man who doesn’t know how to put together shelves or can’t change a light bulb if needed, she will write you off as not being ‘man enough’. Then again we men probably do the same thing to women who can’t cook and so I suppose it sort of evens out in that respect.

There are a lot of other do’s and don’ts but these were some that came to mind that I felt would be important to highlight, especially for the beginning stages of dating.

Mr Sims is bacckkk!!! well if you’ve followed SIG for a while you’d know that Mr Sims is a good friend of the family. Be sure to visit his blog for more fantastic posts. 

And if you would like your experience/story featured on SIG or if you have some fantastic dating tips, simply send an email to 
Till next time 

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Admin- Single in Gidi


  1. Yaaaaaaaaaay, finally, a guy’s perspective. Hoping to learn a few tips and see a few things am doing wrong from a man’s point of view.

    Welcome on board Mr Sims………….


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