FOR THE LOVE OF MONEY

Heyyyy guys, I know y’all did not miss me since ImaRose has been holding it down on the blog. My sincere apologies for not updating as much as I used to, NO, it has nothing to do with planning a wedding (like ImaRose likes to hint), however it is a case of me feeling like a fraud, writing as a single person in the dating world when I don’t exactly have the material to talk about, it won’t be original but then again maybe I am over thinking it.

Moving on…

Last weekend, I was with a group of brides-to-be at an event when one of the ladies asked a question regarding finances and marriage. According to her, it was a concern that she earned significantly more than her fiancé so she needed advice on how to handle the situation. Of course, the guests had one thing or the other to offer but one thing they failed to ask was ‘how has he been in the relationship?’

Questions like hers, is one of the reasons why a lot of young men would rather be single than marry someone they love just because she earns more than he does. One thing we need to do as women is learn not to over emphasize our financial independence…especially in a relationship, I mean how would you like it if your boyfriend was always reminding you how he earns more than you do or if some guy you’re talking to decides the reason he didn’t want to be with you is because you didn’t have a ‘lucrative job’, or every time you had a conversation, he would bring up your financial status as a major concern.

I mean if the bros in question is paying his own bills and isn’t asking you for money why should his financial status be a reason for alarm, it shows that he is responsible and even though he may not be where he is to pay for your ‘luxury life’, he will be able to pay for important things like house rent, e.t.c. Too many young women are looking for sugar daddies instead of husbands or partners to grow with. It just sounds strange when I hear things like this or maybe I am strange…

I remember when I heard some guy I liked at a point in my life said he had a problem with my profession because I didn’t have a ‘good paying’ job according to his standard so he didn’t think it would work and another guy blatantly said he was a doctor so he needed a wife in the medical field so their combined income could afford them a good life…therefore, Ms Gidi didn’t cut it.  Now that I think about it, they both had something in common, they wanted women from their states and were doctors, in summary, they were both short-sighted.

Regardless of their myopic view on life, I remember feeling a bit upset when i heard that which brings me to my question for the day, should the financial status of your partner (male or female matter especially when they take care of their bills without your help?. And for the men, if the woman of dreams, earned significantly more than you do, what would you do?

Love,

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3 thoughts on “FOR THE LOVE OF MONEY

  1. My wife earns more than I do. Infact the only time I came close to her salary, she earned about N10k more than I did & that was at the beginning of our relationship…now she earns almost double my salary.

    I simply carry out my share of the financial expenses for the home & she does her bit as well. She knows I try my best within my budget & I know that as finances improve, I will carry on more burdens. All it takes is for both parties to be sincere & keep up with their obligations. My wife doesn’t bother with utility bills & all worth not while I am not bothered about kitchen issues & other aspects.

    Anyone who feels intimidated by the financial status of the spouse or proposed partner is a joker & should work on the self-esteem issues.

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  2. This topic is heavily dear to me. Our generation in Nigeria don’t like talking about these things then wake up shocked and surprised after the marriage. Women are as empowered as men these days if not more, so we need to know how these things can be handled so it doesn’t create problems. It depends on how u look at it, my upbringing and faith how I understand; I don’t care who earns more but I focus more on finance as the union being one. It’s not my money and his money, it’s our money and as the head I have to submit to my husband when I marry. Now nobody can predicted the future, but the chances that I can earn more now or in the future more and my future husband shouldn’t surprise me or him, I have 3 degrees, it’s possible, if not now in future, but it’s how we both view it and how we conduct our relationship; is he the head or are we co-heading? The body no matter how big and complicate only has one head, I don’t believe in co-heading a relationship, thus marriage, the problem is that woman now feel earning money or more money means we are equal. My pastor used to say it all boils down to submission, a woman should better be with a man she can submit to, but some will pick a fool or q confused, disorganized, man of no honor and not want to submit to him. Women better marry well, Becos if u pick or argue to marry a fool, am sorry he is your head and you going to have to submit to him.
    Me and my ex-finance had this financial agreement. Our money was ours, but we would settle bills monthly as agreed, but give me my she-‘money and he gets his he-money, and none of us get to touch our money without each other’s consent, that’s still how I want to do it no matter how much I earn, makes no difference to me!

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  3. I think if both parties can come to an agreement on how the finances should be handled (which ideally should be the case, whoever the ‘breadwinner’ may be), this won’t be an issue.
    My parents have been together almost 40 years, and as far as I can remember from about secondary school, my mom’s had the higher income. This wasn’t always the case, but they didn’t let it be an issue. My mother hammered it into my head that it’s okay to earn more – it’s great even, when/if things don’t work out best with your man, but it’s key that you ALWAYS keep your man in his place as the head. If you don’t give him that respect, you’re opening yourselves to additional yawa ontop the daily bread-and-butter-drama of relationships.

    For all those ladies throwing their hands up with Destiny’s Child and being Independent, please also check how Beyoncé with all her Bey-dom still carries Jay Z on her head.

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