I feel like I am getting more comfortable in this my dating career. Gone are the days when one would meet a man and start wondering or trying to get any explanation for when he starts misbehaving, hoping you get the memo or the classic disappearing and reappearing act after a week or so.
My dating career seems so much simpler now– maybe it’s because I am getting older and really coming into my own as a woman. I stand by what I want in a man and won’t accept counterfeits or discounted packages. I give the whole nines and I want the same right back.
What’s that saying again that says “when you know what you bring to the table, you are not afraid to eat alone” That’s me right now, I am an exclusive kinda-woman, selfless, sweet, kind-lover, not ashamed to please, honour and worship my man, but, I want the same thing and I don’t feel guilty for it (ImaRose just dey wash herself today abeg no vex, if it’s paining you go and write for SIG too and wash yaself, I will borrow you my shower-jel)
But yeah, are values and traditions not being passed down or are things just complicated these days? Being that it’s 2015 and all that, Lagos guys be like “why stress oneself, when a new toy to play with is just an Instagram like away”
God sha know who he created when he created me; as in, I’m not afraid to remain a single girl who will eventually be a single mother because I can’t settle for anything less than real, I want a man to be crazy about me how Miss Gidi’s bae is crazy over her, as in eh if you see the two of them, you too go wan love. I mean like Miss Gidi, my own love is unconditional so make I dey wait for my ima..abi no bi so?
But bros before I or any woman can give you unconditional love, these old-fashion dating tips need to be urgently resurrected:
If you have a genuine interest in someone, approach them the right way – with respect. First impressions are everything and set the tone of how things will go after the initial communication; if someone is not making an effort at all in the beginning, best believe, it will never get any better because the beginning is when a man should try to impress a woman he really likes. Also, if you find that the man is involved with someone else or as is the case of Lagos men, numerous girls, who in their minds are dating them, don’t pray about it sister-girl, no darling don’t have hope, move on!
- Phone Calls
I get it: Texting is easier. I like to text sometimes. We all like to text or chat. But, gone are the days of being up until 3am chatting with someone you’re interested in (that was so much fun in the days of yahoo messenger). Anyway, when getting to know someone, it is important to get in phone dialogue, to get a feel of if you even like this person, can stand them, much less want to go out on a date with them. You can extract a lot of information (i.e., history, intentions and tone) through either phone or face-to-face conversations. Bottom line: taking out time to call in the midst of your busy schedule shows me a man is really trying to get to know me in a real way.
Effort seems to be lacking these days and in a major way. Why is this? Getting to know someone should be more than just chilling at mine or yours, Netflix and Chill (or maybe African Magic and chill) is so hook up like. Not that there is anything wrong with Netflix (or African Magic) …but go out on dates! To me, it always seems like a major red flag when a man only calls to come over or have me go over his and hardly wants to ever go out in a public setting with me. Dates do not have to be expensive; walking around bar-beach abi na Eko- Atlantic on a Saturday morning after a good workout can be a date, just good old-creative, fun and free ways to hang out and do stuff together. Besides there is this nice buka opposite Bar-beach, their peppersoup is on point.
This one is scary for Lagos men, most of them have these ideas of keeping several women around without necessarily saying anything, yet, no man has ever picked any quality woman with this little boy’s gimmick. Be clear about your intentions. If you are just dating many of us at same time and playing the field or not really sure what you’re looking for, make sure you keep us in the loop, some of us really won’t mind, so as not to string anyone or disappear, Lagos is large but it’s also a small place, don’t making bumping into you awkward. Make sure you are fully ready to date a woman or just stick to your shag-buddies or don’t even try at all.
A few weeks ago (maybe like 3 months ago) I thought I liked a guy, then he had better things to do and couldn’t be bothered to put in the effort even a one minute phone call, so I got the hint! It’s funny how when you are not too emotionally attached to an outcome of getting to know a guy, it’s easier to tell yourself the truth.
Well now, Ima, has a new special friend (yup, very same 6-hour meeting man) and I am really enjoying getting to know this new special friend. He has been consistent in the last four weeks, calls daily most of the times, and says he doesn’t like disconnected connectivity of messaging, so texting is not a means of keeping in touch for him; he calls 80% of the time while the other 20% is mostly a way of relaying quick information via text.
We’ve been to church together and we occasionally take long walks by the beach after working out…he does have a few things to bring to the table so maybe we’ll keep him around for a while. Miss Gidi always says one thing she learnt from dating is that a man who wants you wants you and every action will tell you so.
I think this new special friend wants me…now to do some more FBI work because abeg I no wan wahala for this Lagos