GOING NOWHERE FAST

My people, my people, busy cannot even begin to describe my schedule lately. Forget that entire thing some people will tell you about transitioning from a 7am to whenever the boss feels you can close story, this thing is not for the faint hearted.

ImaRose is officially an independent development project consultant and now runs around like a headless-chicken in rural slums overseeing small government projects, fundraising and also providing non-profit solutions. I have mentally written so many posts I never actually got a chance to write, but this week; let’s talk about something very current and personal to my dating career.

Remember the 6-hour meeting guy? He has been around long enough and is a super potential, so I have decided that he is my “October” since all the letter guys never seem to stick around long enough.

So, my October (knock on wood), I don’t know if it is too early to say this but October is the kindest man I have ever met, he is so kind sometimes it annoys me, like when his “friend” who is not familiar with Lagos called him at 2am and he was on the phone to me, looking for directions on how to get to mile-12 to pick her as her car got bad and she was surrounded by area-boys. I am not even a jealous person but I was still touchy about it even though he was on the phone to me the whole time, it sha ticked me off, I won’t lie. The next day after church, he invited same friend over to have lunch with us as I am sure he noticed I wasn’t cool with the arrangement, babe came with her boyfriend. Surprisingly, we are not official yet, nor have we crossed that line, but October gets me, or should I say he knows how to get me.

October is an “I just got back” so he is constantly looking for new places to try out. I feel like I have added weight as we have nearly sampled every nice food places in Lagos, the other day I talked about going to have pancakes at this popular joint in Lekki before work (okay Miss Gidi told me about it), October was like “I need a juju man to help me stay away from you because you are making me fat… then adds, I couldn’t stay away from you even if I tried, what have you done to me?”.

The longest he hasn’t called is a day interval, and he sees me at least three times a week. Recently, he went for an out-of-town wedding and was running from the airport to pick me from a wedding so we can go and have sushi, and chill as he had a busy week ahead (in my mind I was like, now here is a man who walks his talk).

He knows I love Baileys, so he brings me Baileys all the time, on account of I am not strong enough to handle with his vodka and spirit. We talk about everything, no topic is off-limits. What I like the most about October is the friendship; sometimes I forget, it is barely three months we have known each other and it feels like years of friendship.

So recently we were talking about how to transition the relationship and our expectations, this got me going back to history and observing the patterns that led me to disasters. I stumbled upon our first date and freaked out on account of it not even being long at all.

See I know chemistry when I feel it but I can’t date on account of chemistry, it has to not just feel right but also be right. We talked about this and October said sometimes, unplanned things fall into place and just fits perfectly, it’s scary but it happens. See we fit so perfectly, it scared me, two weeks, I freaked out and texted October asking if he was busy I wanted to talk to him about something, he replied immediately.

I didn’t text back immediately because I was in a meeting, October, called me three times, after an hour when I called back, the shake in his voice made me feel nervous and asked to text instead. I did and I asked that we take it slowly so that he is not forming a bond based on boredom of moving back, and for me, for the sake of having someone. He agreed and said “as long as we have a review timeframe and he wasn’t just waiting around while I am sleeping with some guy” to which I was like deal.

I have prayed and asked God to bring me my man because I am not into this whole experimental dating; meet a guy, rush in a relationship before our real self shows up, and it when it does, our emotions are all over the place. The rush of infatuation can sometimes lead us to take the next steps into exclusivity without looking objectively at the odds of the relationship succeeding. We no longer ask ourselves serious questions like “do I like this person, are they my friend and how do they make me feel”? Rushed intimacy and sex puts blinders on us and by the time we realise; it’s not a match, so much emotions and time would have been invested in the process, so we manage the situation or try to change the person.

I have hurried nowhere fast before, the sex felt good, but suddenly I realised this person does not treat me special in any shape or form. So recently, a friend of mine said, December is the month when IJGBs will be all over Lagos that October might get tired of waiting and get snatched away and my response was “that is exactly the plan, to watch his consistency especially during the “IJGB Lagos festival” when girls with all sorts of accent, skin color and weaves full everywhere. Another friend assumed I didn’t like October as much as he liked me and it made me think, I mean this man left his house at mid-night on the account of ImaRose being sick and came to carry me around to look for a 24 hour pharmacy, then got back and watched cartoon network with me until I slept off before he went home…considering that the next day was a work day. Not too long ago, I met someone who was too busy to call or take me out for a planned outing. So what is not to like about October mbok?

I won’t lie I like October

I am in very strong like with October

Fingers crossed.

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7 thoughts on “GOING NOWHERE FAST

  1. Welcome back Ima, I have missed you soooooooooooo much! I have hurried no way fast before too, it’s horrible feeling to wake up after sex and see that the man is not even worth it. I agree with you girl, chemistry is just feelings and feelings are unstable so we must pay attention to the consistency of how they treat us.

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  2. ImaRose and these her expressions sef “IJGB” Lagos festival, lol, Ima is in strong-like, cheiiiii Ima don fall in love finish before she dey tell us the story in a keeping-up-with-Kardashian-style of documenting after the facts! Happy for you girlllllll

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  3. I like Uncle October. You are creating Memories and that goes a long way. Release yourself and get reduced to love. From strong like to marraige to the Birth of November and December.
    Na from clap e dey enter dance

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  4. OMG!! I smiled all through this post.. I am soo happy for you.. A guy that backs up words with actions is a rare commodity these days. I understand your fears though, but don’t chase him away while you are ‘waiting’.

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