Has anyone been following the hashtag #wastehistime2016 on twitter? It’s the funniest and realest hashtag in a while, women are not smiling anymore oh, now some women out-playing men on their own childish games, to the point that an agenda has been set to waste his time this 2016. Of course we naija babes decided to take it seriously too so much that my friend, let’s call her Almond-nuts, started playing with a Lagos man-child who once tried his luck with me, somehow managed to find my friend on instagram and wanted to pull same game with her.
Let me start from top. Remember the guy I once said was married and was chasing me, only for me to see his wedding pictures on #bellanaijaweddings and sent it to him and never heard from him again? Let’s call him Mr F. Mr F is your typical Lagos player, King’s college alumni, Unilag graduate, masters degree from the UK, runs his own ‘company’, lives in nice house in Lekki, 34 years old hot chocolate. When I first meet Mr F, he ticked all my boxes and lamented always about not being able to find a good woman like me to settle down with, but to me, he was too perfect to be single. So the more I tried to know him in a real way, the more elusive he became, in my mind I was like “see this one oh, you won’t chop clean mouth sorry” but na so I dey look am like film but never took him seriously; if a single woman or man never reveals real information about themselves, but wants to date you on superficial level best believe they’re unavailable or booed up.
Sometime in October last year, Mr F, in his usual manner reached out to Almond-nuts via instagram, started flirting with her and my friend, who was going through a hard time with her boyfriend at the time, decided to see if there was more out there by giving her new interest a chance. But trust us girls, she sent me his handle and immediately I recognised it, I sent her a screenshot of the wedding and told her to run for her life.
Almond-nuts is a kuku a nutter, responding to my text in capital letters she screamed; “na God wan punish this one, I will out play him in his own foolish game, abi the guy no get sense, he no see your pictures full my IG, abi him no remember say we girls dey share notes, text, compare and contrast our new interest with our fellow sisters”? That’s how the my friend called matter on top her head to be Madam Karma, she flirted back with Mr F, went on dates with him, he even used the same lines one of which being, “I see you love travelling, I will enjoy traveling around the world with you bla-bla-bla”.
That is how Almond-nuts was travelling and spoke to Mr F about it to set a trap for him to fall inside, indeed he did, as his ego was desperate to maintain its status-quo. She asked him to give her shopping money while she waited for him to come meet her and in his words “make sweet love to her” (don’t ask how I know, I sha have the screenshot evidence). That’s how Mr F sent my girl $5000 for shopping, she said thank you and sent him details of the hotel in Zanzibar and all.
But I bow for my friend sha, because that’s how oga sent her a text that he was about to board on the said making sweet love day and could not wait to see her, she said okay with kissing smileys, waited for the flight to land in Zanzibar (thank God for google and flight tracking abilities) and then she sent him an Instagram DM with a picture of his wedding and a note saying “May God forgive you for using IG to fish and hoping I would fall for your childish games just because your wife is pregnant and has gone to deliver. Thanks for the $5000 by the way, Imarose and I are having a ball in Abuja”
At least Almond-nuts got $5000 out of it, I need to up my game this year
Girls, if you know the guy in question is a player, for example if he asks to take you out for dinner in exchange for sex ‘indirectly’ then mbok make sure you get something out of it, bail out on him and don’t forget to hashtag #wastehistime2016 so we can all celebrate with you.
Categories: the urban dater