Or L.U.G.

Because TLOUG just wouldn’t sound right…

What am I talking about? Let me paint a little picture for y’all.

How many of you ladies out there can raise your hands and talk about that guy who was there all the while, but you just didn’t notice? I mean, he was there in the flesh so of course you physically noticed him, but that’s about where it stopped.

He’s thoughtful, caring, a bit on the goofy side, but what’s not to love about a genuine goofball? He’s got his principles and he likes things a particular way, but that’s not exactly rare is it? He’d rather hang out and read a book or go watch a movie or pot plants in the garden (with someone he cares about perhaps) than go to this wedding or that party. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a square, he just keeps in mind that there’s more to life than turning up – i mean that both ways – at every social event. He’s not one of those, be seen at every scene kind of guy. Seen? But he’ll drink the heck out of that bottle of wine with you.

Nah, he’s not an out and about guy. He’s not the guy all the girls lust after. He’s not the best looking or the most sexy. He’s not ‘the bad boy’. He’s doesn’t have the most money or the best car or the best accessories. He doesn’t come from a glamorous family – the kind whose business always seems to end up in the papers. He’s not the guy they want, but he’s the guy they need. They just don’t know it yet.

He’s the guy that watches as girls he likes pay him no mind. He’s the guy that spends most of his twenties professing unrequited love, or at least trying his hardest to get the girl to like him. He’s the guy that has to pick himself up every time she looks at him with pity in her eyes and tells him he’ll make some girl happy one day.

And how right she is…

Years later, some girl out there is happy. Because she found her guy, the one you overlooked. The one who wanted his shot, but you never gave it to him. The one who you thought was ‘alright’ but that you could do so much better. Well, there she goes with your back up plan, your insurance policy. There she goes, with your unexpected gentleman. That is, you always wanted a gentleman, you just never expected it would end up being him.

All of a sudden, you want a little bit more out of life. It’s not just about parties and accessories and being more successful than everyone else. You didn’t realize it before, because he just always seemed to be single (why was that by the way?). But the minute he found someone he was truly happy with, you realized that he was the guy. All this time later, he’s still pretty much the same guy, the guy you’ve always wanted, you just never had the courage to admit it.

Now you notice that he’s actually got a very charming smile. And it occurs to you that his voice sounds so sonorous over the phone. You hear that he cooks well and that he’s as well versed in Downton Abbey as he is in current events. You wonder why you didn’t know that he was this fascinating all this time?  It hits you that he would get along so well with your parents. That you finally brought home a proper gentleman who cared more for your well-being than any of his individual needs or wants.

Yeah, I suppose that would have been nice.

Keep your eyes open ladies, that unexpected gentleman is much closer than you think. Just don’t think he’ll be there waiting forever…

Gentlemen, take heart – the best is yet to come. There’s a reason you never compromised who you were all those years.

*And don’t think the reverse does not hold true for the ladies by the way  – I just know how to better write from a guy’s point of view.



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Admin- Single in Gidi


  1. I remember clearly my gentleman caller. His name’s Bobo. He was (is) sweet, supportive, handsome, very well paid, good family, had his own place, had direction and drive. Every single thing. He was the first guy to get me flowers (repeatedly), he would literally drop everything if i was coming into Lagos, or even come over to see me. The only thing was, for reasons I can’t say now (I choose to blame it on being 18 then), I just wasn’t interested in him romantically. He taught me that diligence and patience can wear down any wall.

    Fast forward some 5+ years after meeting him; I’d gotten experience with guys that got me appreciating him in a better way. He got into town and I went to see him … only to find out he had a girl in his life – she was the reason he was in town, not me. I never told him myself that I’d actually gone over with hopes of kicking off something cos I was too ashamed of how I’d kept him on hold for so long. Besides, the whole situation read like a low-budget romantic cliched story.

    ANYWAYS, we’re both married now with families, and based on what I know of him, his wife is absolutely definitely one lucky woman. I honestly am happy for him that he found the one who recognised him for what he was, and (hopefully) without pain.


  2. Well my gentleman is my bestfriend and he has eyes for every girl but me. I summed up the courage to tell him many years ago and he said he didn’t have those feelings for me. Somehow we’re both always single and it’s been years since I told him how I felt. I can’t tell him again, as I understand the only sustainable relationship is the one where the man wants the woman more. Women have it just as hard believe me.


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