There comes a time in life when you want to ‘settle down’. I mean in a society like ours, that’s your singular purpose in life from the moment you could introduce yourself without the help of an older person *insert sarcasm*.
This ‘want’ and ‘need’ to be married soon becomes an ailment, a disease that follows you, a condition that makes your friends avoid you, a sickness that makes every relationship short-lived and potential friends become strangers. The problem is that in all of this, the only person who is not aware of the severe Desperado Syndrome is you and when you are told that you’ve become that desperate single person, you often go into defense mode and then have this long speech to back up your points.
Here are a few ways to know if you have become that desperate single person:
- You talk about marriage a lot – you would not be a desperado if you didn’t do this. You eat, drink, sleep and breathe marriage; from the first conversation with complete strangers you are already dropping hints as to why you want to get married and the kind of man/woman you are searching for.
- You want a title too soon – It’s been barely 2 weeks that you’ve been talking to someone and you are already asking the question ‘so what are we?’ ‘am I your girlfriend?’ ‘where are we headed?’
- You make a lot excuses – You are constantly making excuses for yourself or the person you are trying to be with. For example, you make statements like – ‘he’s not that fine but he pays attention’, ‘he’s not that paid but he’s a nice guy’, ‘I’m not sure how I feel about him but I mean I am no longer 21’.….at the end of the day, we have one question for you… ‘Who ask you?’
- You try to make him become ‘the one’ – Even though you know the person you are with does not have the qualities you are searching for, you still go ahead with the relationship and then get frustrated with they do not become the person you want them to be.
- You are time conscious – and by this I do not mean hours and minutes, I am talking keeping tabs on how long you plan to talk to this person before he asks you out or he proposes. After all you don’t have the patience for anyone to waste your time
- You sabotage a lot of friendships – every single person is a potential boyfriend or husband. For clear reasons, you cannot define exactly what you are looking for in your partner and in most cases, you end up destroying possible life long relationships.
- You throw the cookie – there’s nothing like waiting to get to know the them better before you get to ‘know’ them intimately with you. I mean how else would they know you have marriage qualities on lock down.
- You live in an illusion-induced cinematic world – let’s be honest you don’t know if you will end up being together with this person or not, so try to not envision long-term. Think next date not when you will be walking down the aisle and changing your last name. This is not a Hollywood romcom so snap out of it and take it one day at a time.
I know sometimes, it seems like trying hard will give you a more likely chance of find love but everyone needs to know where to draw the line and not be desperate. You can probably think of a time when you met someone who reeked of desperation, at first it was cute but then you freaked out and ran as fast as you could.
I can hear you saying, “I don’t act desperate, okay. I just want to settle down” and that is probably true. I’m sure you are not the female version of who I just described but it doesn’t mean that you aren’t putting off that same kind of vibe.