Hello Mz Gidi,
After reading your last post, I have to ask you how a sister can date and not look desperate because I won’t lie I am ready to settle down but I am afraid that I may be giving off the desperado vibes.
As someone who has left the dating world, what do you suggest is the best way to be available but not desperate?
Miss Almost Desperate
Hey Miss Almost Desperate,
I don’t know why I find this message funny but I will try my best to give you an objective response.
1. Don’t Lie : Not necessarily the big lies like you father is the president (unless he really is) but the little lies we tell in order to make ourselves more attractive to the other person. For example saying you love football when you don’t, pretending to be the chef of the family when you don’t know what a pot looks like, the kind of music you listen to or even your spiritual beliefs and convictions.You want him/her to like you for who you are, not the made up you
2. Stop being a stalker: Maybe I should say, stop being an ‘obvious’ stalker because with social media these days, everybody has a little stalker tendency. It may be cute at the start but after a while you become creepy being all up in their grill, knowing everything they do without giving them a chance to tell you (even for conversation sake)
3. Create a boundary: By this I mean stop with the 20 calls in a day or the need to be clingy and be given attention. If they don’t respond to your messages, maybe they are busy and you should be too.
4. Don’t try too hard: If you look like you are doing a lot to get them to notice you, then I’m sorry you look desperate. It’s no fun when only one person is doing all the work.
5. It’s not the end of the world: If you meet every guy/girl with the thought of a future relationship in your head, none of these tips will work. Calm down; make friends, not boyfriends. If they don’t like you back, don’t take it personally. Everybody has different tastes and personalities, so maybe you are not what they are looking for, trying to force them to make them like you is an act of desperation
At the end of the day, I believe there is no right or wrong when it comes dating however there are a few basics that I believe everyone should know especially when you are ready to settle down .
Best of luck