TWO FOR ONE

I once told Miss Gidi that if I lived abroad, I would register on prominent dating sites and maybe hire a matchmaker because let’s be honest, in this 2016, being online has made it a lot easier to meet people. Recently, my friend joined Tinder (that seems to be the new thing in Lagos now) against my opinions because  I had always imagined that Tinder was for people who just wanted to have sex, so they swipe left and right looking for the perfect shag. I mean with the number of married expatriates that are constantly finding cheap whores on Tinder what is one supposed to believe.

Contrary to my belief though, one of my other friends, met a guy about 9 months ago and today they are almost married (I hope I don’t jinz it sha). So out of curiosity, I registered on Tinder to see how it works. But Nigerian men sha (story for another post), much to my amazement I saw a lot of married men I knew, some married celebrities sef. It’s harder to weed the wheat from the tares but to be honest, Tinder is not such a bad idea if you are interested in going on dates at least once a week which expands your horizon.

Remind me that I have a tinder date gist I have for you ..back to my story

So what happens if you happen to like more than one person in the process? Yes and No depending on your definition of dating and whether or not sex is involved.  E-harmony  recently published an article about how to date more than one person at a time. In Nigeria, multiple dating is a more of a game of who will propose first for the women, and for the men whose back they can jump on to live the good life.  

My friend RedVelvet (RV) was telling me about her friend who got proposed to by two guys last month now she is torn on who she should marry, although she said yes to both guys. The interesting part of this story is that, the guy that she really likes, hasn’t proposed but since she is 31, she decided to take matters into her own hands, if you were her what will you do?. So the babe was giving RV tips on how to have men rushing to propose, no it’s not what you think, Let’s go back to the beginning of this gist.

RV’s friend was dating her ex in Unilag for 6 years, struggling with the guy and all, only for the guy to dump her for a babe he just met and married the babe sharply. So RV’s friend, let’s call her Koko, decided that she was out to  

  1. show the guy that it was his loss by marrying a better man, and
  2. out play men at their own silly games.

Her theory was, date as many guys as possible, have sex with them, and mark the ones you see great potentials in and be dismissive of the others. It worked for a few of her friends so why not her.

Basically, Koko would call these guys when she feels like dinner or whatever is date-like, go back to hers, have sex and as soon as she is done, ask them to leave. In this case her potentials were the two guys who proposed last month, she did this for five months. While doing this, her friend told her about Mama Dolphin who is apparently an elderly woman who lives in Dolphin Estate that has done juju for many Lagos big girls to catch their mugus, I mean husbands. Mama Dolphin would do “prayers” like they call it for her with candles and incense with the guy’s picture and under garment, for the guy she really wants to propose, while her causal treatment of the other two guys continued intermittently.

I have seen them together,  Koko is a very aggressive chick and the man she wants is so calm, I always wonder what he is doing with her. According to RV who is Koko’s roommate, for their house, odd hours no be odd hours, Koko stays shuffling her bed-mates and never allows them sleep over until morning, even if it’s 3am she asks them to leave, immediately after sex. One of those days I saw them together, Koko was having a fight with one of their house domestic staff and the object of her affection happened to be there and said “why are you so aggressive? how do you expect a man to marry you like this”? In my mind I was like, this guy will never marry her but let’s see what Mama Dolphin can do, if it worked for other instagram celebrities flaunting their husband’s wealth on the gram,  it just might work for Koko.

On Valentine’s day, Koko scheduled dates with her two baes because the object of her affection was not in town. Surprisingly, both of the guys proposed to her in public and she couldn’t say no, now Koko reshuffles engagement rings and is in desperate need of an intervention on how to handle the situation. I heard her friend that it worked for, changed her numbers and even deactivated her Facebook profile under the pretence of a ‘hack’ so maybe Koko will do the same.

Babes let’s be honest, if it were you in this situation, what would you do? A woman treats two men anyhow like they are nothing and they both propose to her? While Imarose is here writing about her manless life because people think she is too soft.

Na wa o

 
ImaRose

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8 thoughts on “TWO FOR ONE

  1. LOL. ImaRose, men love women who treat them anyhow, go to balogun market and sell your soft heart and buy the one all Naija men need, why because men love hard women the ones who don’t respect them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have heard of this Mama Dolphin before, Unilag babes dey go do prayers there after changing their skin color. By the way, before you consider Mama Dolphin, see how Toke Makinwa marriage take scatter oh, someone told me they saw her there. It’s important that a man out of freewill chooses you!

    Like

  3. That’s easy, Koko should marry the one with the most handsome pocket and keep fucking the guy she loves who didn’t propose, it’s time for liberated women to keep side niggas too. Destroy his life and never allow him space to move on with life, keep him a side nigga until when he can no longer fuck how She likes it, trade him in for a younger model; it’s called gender equality.

    ImaRose you better post my comment.

    signed
    Angry Nigerian woman!

    Like

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