I MADE A MISTAKE

The internet has been buzzing with the news of Tiwa Savage and her husband, Teebillz. When I first read his story, I thought to myself ‘oh gosh not another celebrity marriage falling apart’, because not long ago we were all talking about Toke and Maje; everyone had their opinion on what happened and what should have been done.

Then Tiwa said her side and even though I am one of the people who feels she shouldn’t have spoken so soon because Teebillz could drag her further in public and damage her reputation some more, I couldn’t help but feel for her and her emotional struggle, especially when she said

I made a mistake

Often times we make mistakes in the people we choose to be with but are too ashamed to say so or take the blame for making that decision. Women have the final say as to who they decide to spend the rest of their lives with but the pressure of biological clock and ‘getting married’ forces us to believe that we should settle for the next best thing and hope for the best.

While having a conversation with a friend, the topic of walking away from a dead/bad relationship came up. My friend believes that the moment you see a sign that you don’t like, you have to bail while I was of the opinion that you watch out for the signs in the relationship, talk about it, observe the other party’s response before deciding to walk away.

The problem is most times when we see the warning signs, we choose to stay in the name of making things work out because nobody is perfect and when it blows up in our faces we are too ashamed to say the words ‘I made a mistake’; so we throw faults and blames; that everyone else is wrong and we were only the victims of our own decisions.

I once met a lady, we’ll call her Zainab, who walked out of her marriage because she knew even though she had known her ex-husband for over five years, she had no business getting married to him. She said she knew six months beforehand that she would leave her husband, but kept praying for a lightning bolt of recognition that it would work out in the end. Not because she truly loved him, but because she couldn’t stomach the shame. She wanted it to work, she was hoping things would change even after two kids but she had to let it go.

Despite everything that was said and whatever the media has to say about Tiwa, one thing I can respect her for is simply admitting  that she made a mistake in marrying the man she chose to marry 3 years ago because it shows that she is woman who is ready to take on the world, count her losses and move on with her life.

If there’s one thing everybody (either male or female) can learn from the Tiwa and TeeBillz drama, it’s knowing when to say ‘I made a mistake and I am done’.

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