Dear Mz Gidi, 

I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for about three months. I swear it feels like this is it, we get along so well and I actually see a future with him. The only problem is that the topic of our genotype has never come up and I am sort of nervous about asking him for his.

See for a long time I always thought I was AA until my last relationship when my ex decided we do a test because he was AS and he needed to be sure I was AA. I ended up being AS much to my surprise and that’s how that relationship ended.

Now with this guy, I don’t know. I want to ask him so I don’t get hurt but I find it forward and uncomfortable when the asked such questions, I’m afraid I may scare him away. 

So please how do I ask him for his genotype without scaring him away? 



Since I am all up for speaking from experience, I’d like someone who has experience in this to help Steph out …what do you think Steph should do in this situation? Should she ask upfront? or is there a tactical way of asking ?

Use the comment box below and let’s discuss.

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Categories: Dear Miss Gidi

7 replies

  1. I think u coming straight out to ask is no big deal o. In this day and age, being informed about such thing is the key so u dnt get hurt at the end of the day when u find out u guys are not compatible afterall. If u dnt want to do the straight thing, u can jst come up with a gist of how a friend had to let go of a long term relationship cos of genetic ish, and use that opportunity to ask him. U r a gurl na, use dah God given sense #wink.. All dah best Steph


  2. If asking him what his genotype is scares him away, then that says something already. Especially if you are at a point where you think the relationship is going to progress to the level where knowing each other’s genotype is important.


  3. Simple as ABC…ask him straight up. I’m male & it was a question I used to ask less than a week after meeting a girl. As they say, Know your way no be curse.


  4. Sweetheart, it is not a crime to ask o. Either stylishly or straight up. Pls ask ASAP. I’ve been heartbroken bcos of this genotype of a thing. So I’ve resorted to asking upfront and I’ve warned all my friends who have taken  it upon themselves to find me a boo to ascertain a man’s genotype b4 “hooking” us up. I cannot coman love up finish and find out a guy is AS. I’ve gone down that road and it wasn’t pretty. So please, ASK!   Na ordinary kweshon. You can ask him normally but if u feel he might be thinking ure already planning a wedding in ur head and u might feel uncomfortable asking directly, u can ask stylishly like kayyat and shugarythots said.  My 2 cents. 


  5. Straight up is the way to go. It’s not weird at all, trust me. I grew up thinking i was AA because my mom had mentioned it at some point, but then on my 1st date with some guy way back, he asked me about it, just to avoid future road blocks. He asked me to get tested just to be sure, and not take it for granted.

    While i was caught off guard by the question, I didn’t think it was weird/random at all.


  6. Girl, just ask straight up. It’s nothing to be shy or embarrassed about. I remember having this conversation with my boyfriend. He was certain he was AS, and I was unsure. I felt so silly about not thinking about it earlier, so I went and got tested. Thankfully I’m AA and the story ended there.
    Same way you should be asking about his HIV status, get to know this too. It goes along with knowing his family illness history. Diabetes, cancer, mental illnesses etc. There is so much more to think about, you can’t allow this ONE thing to hold you back.
    So, brave it up and ask, because really, this is just the beginning.

    Good luck.


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