I want to elope….
Everyone keeps saying my mother will be disappointed if I elope or go to the registry with the required witnesses and get married. They say it’s a day of joy and every parent looks forward to it, how it should be the best day of my life, how it has to be traditionally done; bride price and all the works.No one asks if I really want to have a wedding with the whole works.
I was never the little girl who dreamt about her wedding or fantasised about the husband and all those tiny and somewhat irrelevant details movies like to fill our heads with. I always had this odd outlook about weddings; it was one of the many things on my life’s checklist, tick and move on. I never had an opinion about it or what my “dream” wedding would look or feel like. Make we just marry, officially do the sontin and start our life abeg!
I planned a wedding 4 years ago and a lot of things felt like an unnecessary hassle to me, I didn’t want bridesmaids but had to because it would look “picture perfect”. My “200 people is a big wedding” outlook was laughed at and by the time my brother and I were done drawing up a list of “compulsory” guests, I was considering having an absentee wedding. On a serious note, we see some of those “woman/man holding photo and looking one kain” stories on blogs and wonder why, here’s what I think; they may have been drained by the planning stage and were like “abeg put photo there, snap, make una do party.”
I felt drained when the relationship didn’t work out and I was left with wedding paraphernalia; a self-made almost finished bouquet, jewellery made by my friend and lots of explanations to the “concerned parties”,not forgetting the “we are not doing again” calls to vendors.
I will not even talk about the Nigerian wedding industry and how some brides might feel pressured to go along with the “picture perfect” themes. See ehn, wedding is just a day o, one day and bam it’s all over, no need to drink garri in the first few months of your life together. Before you call me a hatur, if you have the money biko spend away, but I believe your wedding should be one that makes you feel loved by your intending partner, friends and family. You should look back and smile because it reflected your personalities and not be stressed at the memory of the caterer’s horrendous food, MC that shouted like a his balance depended on it or your photographer forgetting to take off the lens cap! This might seem like a sub or diss but this unfortunately happened to a few people I know!
I’ve been called jaded and influenced by western views( my all time favourite), how the wedding ceremony is not for me but for my family and friends, what will your fiancé think? I believe he will clue himself in, I’m saving him tons of money so what’s not to love?
The most important thing should be does he rock your world? Do you rock his? If yes, why can’t you rock your day without people who don’t like you but want to eat/drink you dry whilst complaining about any and everything.
Disclaimer: this is not a representation of all Nigerian wedding guests.
If I have a proper “naija” wedding ceremony, it might not be not of my own free will and I might have been brainwashed and will need rescuing! Actually, it could be that I was blessed with a man who had always had a plan for his “dream” wedding, yes that type of man exists! Anyways, my friend always says “elope or have a small wedding if you want to, it doesn’t really matter because if you get married and not tell anyone, people will get upset but they cannot be upset forever or else we’ll start suspecting them!”
I want to elope and I’m certain there are some JuliaRobert-esq people out there wondering how to implement their runaway bride goals! Come and play in the comment section, don’t worry this is a safe space *wink*