So I joined Tinder…. for the third time.
Oh the many things I do for you all. I know I’ve been MIA but let’s just agree that I was away on a secret mission to save the world and yes I succeeded!! See, I knew you’d forgive me..xoxoxo
I previously wrote about online dating in this post and how I didn’t think it was for me, well read it and come back to laugh at me. hehehehe!
Okay, let me give you the backstory on why I joined Tinder again seeing that I had been there, done that and got the T-shirt. It all started with my friend joining to kickstart her dating life, even though we all know how stressful and tiring dating can be. Despite this impending stress and hassle, she took the plunge and I’m happy to announce that she met a lovely-ish bloke(the “ish” had to be there because one can never tell with these Lagos men) and they went on a date last weekend.
So I thought to myself “why not start an experiment and see how online dating works in Nigeria?”
Disclaimer: I must state here that I am not currently looking to date or marry so this experiment is solely to gather information. However, I have been recently advised to keep an open mind on “Man matter” so let’s see if I find MINE
Anyways, I downloaded the app then waited a couple of days before opening it again, why? Er… because one cannot just be jumping into the dating pool anyhow, one must first contemplate and over think as per Quirky girl hehehe. I just signed up a few hours ago and I already have a few things to talk about.
Please note: This is an ongoing experiment, so I’ll be back with “reports” from time to time.
- You have to sign up using Facebook! “Plix wazalldiz??” One cannot do their experiment without the prying eyes of Uncle Mark and the many minions that work for him? Anyways I begrudgingly signed up and was pleasantly surprised, apparently the app has this option called Smart Photos, so it goes through your profile photos and picks the best one to show first, talk about putting your best foot forward.
- I got 2 matches in less than 5 mins of playing around, I don’t mean to brag but your girl has still got it!! *insert cool music* I haven’t messaged them or anything o, but it feels great knowing that me sef can match with another person. *wipes lone tear and add small sniff for effect*
- People do not understand the concept of photos for a dating site, why in the name of all things beautiful will you put up a photo of someone campaigning for a local government council abi ward? And no this dude was not the one on the poster. Also, how will you say you’re interested in being friends and have a company logo as the only photo on your profile? Is this a new marketing strategy? Get on Tinder, become friends with people, be very chilled and they won’t know when they’ll become loyal customers, right? Abeg someone please help explain the logic behind this. Another person had a photo of his mum (I’m guessing it was his mum sha because the woman was elderly, tied some nice gele that was complemented with a wonderful Christian-mother blouse and probably two-wrapper but I can’t verify the wrapper bit as the photo wasn’t full length. ( I guess he wanted to show the girls what their prospective mother-in-law looks like but I won’t truly know sha as I sharply swiped left).
- Your About section is not for you to write a white paper about your life, neither is it an Oscar acceptance speech. Biko keep it simple!!! One dude I think in an attempt to be gangster used the word “bitches” in his profile, something along the lines of “ I don’t want no bitches here blabla”. Pele o Uncle Bingo, Bitches destroyer. I swiped left not because of the vulgar language but the fact that he couldn’t differentiate between “AM” and “I’M” and we all know how I feel about that *I shudder in grammatical error* Seriously, how can you be 32 and use vewi(very) in a sentence? Have you no regard for your fellow human being’s sanity???
- Tinder is a superficial app. Like I mentioned earlier, this my third time coming back to this app and I cannot get over that fact. Swiping right because of one fine boy or proper grammar just makes me feel one kind. What if the man with the blank profile photo or poorly written about section is actually a nice person who you’d have a meaningful and wonderful friendship with? Sigh, but make I no lie o, poor spelling does my head in. Please learn to put your best foot forward or just write in pidgin English so you don’t end up destroying people’s heads with poorly constructed sentences and abbreviations even a “chat head” would frown upon.
I have a few other things I want to talk about but I’ll have to pause here as I need to immerse myself in a book to cleanse my brain and eyes of the horrific things they have been put through. Don’t worry, drama and sweet gist material always seem to come my way so the next post on Quirky Single’s Tinder escapades will be great!