Every once in a while I meet young ladies who are upset when eligible young men in their respective churches bring girls from ‘outside’ to marry. I mean it’s pretty obvious, this guy most times is the perfect catch, good-looking, has a good job and loves the Lord so obviously every young lady in church searching for a ‘man of God’ would put their best foot forward hoping that he would notice them and maybe marry them.

Considering the fact that most women in Lagos today, pick churches based on the availability of single men, I can see how this is frustrating. I mean you find that perfect church to get that perfect man, only for the perfect man to be presented to the church on a Sunday morning getting married to some other woman who has never been seen within 5 miles of the church premises before.

The betrayal, the heartache and the reality that most single men in church do not want to date women who attend the same church with them and here are some reasons why

THEIR REPUTATION. Going after women in the church is often a no-win situation. If it doesn’t work out, news would spread fast in church and if they happen to date more than one girl in the church, next thing everyone would tag them as the serial dater and unserious.

FEWER OPTIONS. Women have one unspoken rule between each other, and guys are well aware of it. If they date one girl in church, they are automatically eliminating 10 other girls because these girls are all friends with his church ‘ex’, so before they go after anyone in church they need to be absolutely sure that it is indeed their final bus stop.

THE PRESSURE. The moment, everyone knows that you both are dating, there becomes so much pressure for you to get married. It’s in the subliminal messages from elders of the church, department heads and maybe the pastor of the church, after all, we are all fighting the temptation of fornication and there’s only so long for you both to date before premarital sex creeps in.

THE AWKWARDNESS. It gets pretty awkward when you date someone in your church. Most church girls are known to be very territorial so you have to worry about if you are allowed to talk to other women in church. And some cases, you begin to wonder things like are you meant to sit next to each other? Must you come to church together, e.t.c.

IT JUST FEELS WRONG. How do you flirt with a young lady in church after you just spent hours worshiping God and listening to a powerful message? You’re not quite sure what is appropriate when it comes to asking her out either. Some ladies are so fixated on painting the good Christian girl picture that they ask you to go see the pastor before taking them out on a first date

There you have it, the top 5 reasons why the eligible young men in your church will probably not date you. Again it’s not you, it’s them and maybe this time you’ll pick a church based on your spiritual uplifting, not the type of ‘correct guys’ present.

Have you dated someone from your church before? How did it turn out? As a guy would you date someone who attends your church? Ladies can you relate to this post or do you only date guys outside your church?

Use the comment box below and let us know what you think


Mz Gidi


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Mz Gidi

Writer | Poet | Thinker | Creator - SingleinGidi.com|


  1. I’ve seen it happen times without number. It’s only logical when guys do this though. I mean who wants to be under the radar of fellow worshippers. Tough place. Well, I’ve never been one to look at brothers in church. If I mistake call you “brother” even for anywhere for my life. That’s what you gonna be. My brain cells automatically throws your profile in the “family box”.


  2. I went for a program a couple of months ago at my church called “The Better Man”. We had panels of people speak and a couple of ladies spoke too. That was the first time that I heard of this issue and it surprised me. I actually never thought of it that way. But I don’t see it as an issue. Maybe because I’m more of a passive church member.


  3. When I was in Uni I made a conscious decision not to date someone in church. I wanted to worship and fellowship without the distraction of wondering if the lady by my side was “the one”.
    I’ve since relaxed my position on the issue. I don’t go to church that regularly for dem to call meeting on top d matter.
    Funny thing is I keep meeting single ladies outside church only to discover they go to my church…


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