There’s an ongoing trend in Lagos, fellowships and prayer events are mostly attended by women. Single women who are all praying for different things but specifically on getting married. I’m talking intelligent, beautiful, accomplished, well-grounded women who only talk about understanding men, how to get married, finding ‘the one’, praying for their future husbands and most of all ‘waiting on God’ for a husband.
What I’ve also realized is that ‘waiting on God’ is usually where their problem lies, they keep waiting, waiting and waiting….with no action. They never step out of their comfort zones to meet new people and sometimes they are not even approachable outside these ‘fellowships’
Before I continue, let me put out a quick disclaimer, I am a Christian and I am a person of faith.
In Nigeria, the term ‘waiting on God’ is usually used as a way to support laziness. It promotes a passive way of living under the guise of being a person of faith. It proves that most people do not want to take responsibility for their actions so when all hell breaks loose, they find someone to blame, usually God or the devil or witches and wizards in their villages.
We are constantly waiting on God to do something, to give us a sign, to close the doors if it’s not meant to be, to bring the one into our lives, to end an abusive relationship on our behalf, to stop him/her from cheating…to do this, to do that – it seems like we have outsourced our decision making and returned the gift of free will and choice back to God. Somehow God is supposed to work for us and not through us.
Waiting on God also causes these ladies to live in search of perfection, so they spend time waiting for the perfect guy to come around without actually doing anything to ‘match’ their ‘perfect’ man. Also, because God is perfect and only gives perfect gifts, they accept any guy that comes around with the appearance of godliness when in reality these are the only type of men, they have exposed themselves to.
How many times have you met ladies who do not go out, they do not mingle, they do not improve themselves in any way, their lives look like a complete bore, they do not interact with non-believers and they are all expecting that their future spouse would show up with little or no effort from them? I’m sure you can think of someone…maybe you are that someone 🙂
Dating is work…, hard work. Therefore in other to succeed at it, you must be ready to do something about it, about you. God requires us to trust Him with the things we cannot control…but He also asks us to take action in the things that we can.
Nobody is asking you to stand on Sanusi fafunwa or Allen avenue
Instead what I am saying is, in addition to praying, attending fellowships and joining all social media prayer challenges, do something about your dating life, step out of your comfort zone for a minute. Go for a mixer, go to a karaoke bar, hang out with people other than the ‘24 ways to detect your husband’ seminar, travel, go on dates, try out online dating, work on yourself, take your focus off this husband hunt, enjoy your life as a single woman and maybe just maybe your spouse will find you or you might find your spouse while living your best life.
Categories: Single Journals