You’ve met a good guy, it’s a whirlwind romance, you love him, he loves you, you think surely nothing could go wrong, I mean there is love and love conquers all, he’s ready to settle down and so are you.

One day, after a wonderful dinner in a well-orchestrated theatrical moment (maybe alone or in front of family and friends and a camera) he pops the question, opens the box of a blinding diamond ring and at that moment your whole life is dependent on your answer. Say yes and begin to plan a union to this person you love for the rest of your life or say No and start all over again with someone else (remember you don’t have that much time on your hands again, the biological clock is ticking e.t.c)

But before you say YES, know this

Love is not enough

It takes a lot more than love to decide who you should spend the rest of your life with. As a matter of fact, you have every right to ask for a few days to think, evaluate the pros and cons of this person before you decide on what your final answer is.

Love is not a feeling

It is a process, from start to finish. My mother often says you don’t know love until you have been through the ups and downs with this person. So you find a friend, someone you respect, who equally respects you and are attracted to and hope for the best.

Love will be tested

Forget all those Instagram posts and women sending a million and one shout-outs to their husbands on a daily basis or posting pictures of gifts and flamboyant events, that’s not what marriage is all about. Marriage is a never-ending school of highs and lows and both parties must be prepared and determined to succeed. Your love will be tested, it will disappear and reappear but it’s all the other factors that decide the success of that ‘love’

Marriage is forever

This is my official disclaimer that I am not an advocate of divorce/separation because marriage is meant to be forever. However, there are extreme cases where it is absolutely necessary for the sake of survival and happiness where walking away is the only option left. It is a lot cheaper to say No to the proposal than to say No in court, so before you say yes think!

Today, I will be starting the Before You Say Yes (BYSY) series, where I will address key topics on what you should evaluate for BEFORE you say I do. These topics are not gender specific, but as a woman, I will draw from my experience and may occasionally lean towards female examples.

Single in Gidi is all about living on purpose which includes dating with a purpose, so see BYSY as a help in purposeful dating (now I am beginning to sound like a preacher). It doesn’t matter if you’ve said Yes already, as long as you’ve not gotten to the altar/registry then there’s still time to evaluate.

That’s it for an introduction, see you next week for the first topic!

Published by

Mz Gidi

Writer | Poet | Thinker | Creator -|

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