I LOVE YOU BABY, TALK YOUR OWN (FIRST SINGLE IN GIDI GIVEAWAY)

SIG giveaway

WELCOME TO THE MONTH OF JULY!!!!! The month of fabulosity and greatness because it is my birthday month!!! yayyy!!!

I’m not going to tell you what day of the month it is but I will tell you that it falls on a Tuesday so I will be celebrating every Tuesday till July is over and as  part of my celebration, I have decided to give 5 lucky winners a chance to get a gift from me (I’m obviously too nice). The gifts are:

A Makeup Makeover from Iposhlooks (Makeup only)
HAIRVEN Weave Care gift set from Hairven (which will include a voucher for a free weave wash)
Beautiful chiffon fabric from Fumi Fumz (5 yards of any design of your choice)

 

A box of customized cupcakes from Gidicakes
A portion of Cocktail bites from Food Inc.

Pretty cool gifts if I may say so myself BUT does this mean I get nothing in return? Ummm NO!, it means you get to give me the best birthday gift by doing the following:

  1. Like Single in Gidi on Facebook
  2. Follow Single in Gidi on Twitter and Instagram
  3. Using the picture below and the hashtag #singleingidi, share the funniest ‘toasting’ lines you’ve heard in Lagos (For Example; ‘I like a woman that is ‘full’ #singleingidi’ or ‘I love you baby, talk your own #singleingidi’ )
  4. To avoid confusion, leave me a comment on the Facebook timeline indicating that you have done #1-3 above. (optional)

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By doing the above, you will automatically get a chance to win one of the gifts listed above for you or for a friend. Here are some additional guidelines

  1. Only entries made between the 1st and 31st of July 2014 are valid.
  2. The funniest 5 will be picked based on its originality and will be announced on the 5th of August 2014.
  3. Everyone is welcome, however deliveries will be made in LAGOS only
  4. Multiple entries are very welcome 🙂

Guys, I admit the gifts are more for the ladies but you are free to join the fun and win the gift for a lady in your life (mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, sidechic).

Married friends of the blog are also welcome to join the fun 🙂

Lots of love,

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The Bad Boy Obsession

Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of spending time with one of my ‘little’ friends, I call her ‘little’ because she’s only 21 and ..well you know how old I am. One of the things I like about ‘younger’ girls is that I am reminded of myself at that age, how care free I was and how I thought I could make key decisions especially with men.

At 21, I was done with university so like most recent graduates, I believed I was mature. At that time what interested me the most in guys were their educational status (must have completed uni), height and looks. When I say looks, I wanted what I thought was a manly man, none of that pretty boy look, a man with swag, a bit rough and tough…a reformed bad boy was what I was I was looking for (you know kinda like the ex-convict who found Jesus in prison…I exaggerate but you get my point). My thought pattern at that time was, if he was once bad, then he would have the swag that media makes so attractive but being good means he would know how to treat me well; I thought by having a reformed bad boy, I would always feel protected so I had to find that middle ground, the best of both worlds they call it.

Fast forward a few years later and here I was listening to little Sisi seeking my ‘mature’ advice in picking one of the 3 guys that are on her case at the moment (some girls have it good sha). One of them, BB (Bad Boy), was everything her parents had warned her to stay away from, he hasn’t achieved much at 27 but had the swag, the good looks to go with it and according to Sisi ‘the chemistry’. UB (Used to be Bad) had failed out of Uni in the UK thanks to being ‘bad’ and is now back in Nigeria trying to be better while finding his way through one of the popular private universities in the country. GB (Good Boy) on the other hand has had a crush on her for a while, hasn’t quite made a move but at 23 he is done with Uni and is currently taking his professional exams to be a chartered accountant while working with as a graduate trainee in a top firm; all fingers point to GB as a good choice but little Sisi claims she is confused.

At my age, I’m wondering why Sisi is confused, I believe a young girl who wants something serious will definitely go for GB, with or without the glorified ‘swag’. I mean, he is on his way to being stable while the other guys are neither here nor there at the moment. On the other hand, I can almost see why Sisi is confused, she’s at the age of searching for adventure, having that trophy boyfriend, the man with the rock hard abs that will make all her friends green with envy, you know the one with the extra swag that can lick his lips and make your knees weak…the type that TV tells us is more fun and even though he is bad, he can turn good just for you… #lieswomenbelieve

While listening to Sisi speak some more, I began to wonder who/what was responsible for this female obsession for bad boys? What is the illusion of wanting something/someone that is obviously not good for you? Why do so many young ladies ignore the good guys ’till it’s too late?

At the end of it all, Sisi admitted that she thought the other 2 were more ‘manly’ for her and could ‘protect’ her, her parents of course would never agree for the bad boy so she’s considering the middle ground. Her exact words were ‘I am a strong woman, I don’t need a man that I can push around and GB looks like a pushover, he’s a really good guy but I like him as a friend, that’s it’

*sigh* No wonder they say nice guys always end up being friendzoned….

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Come back next week for details 🙂

 

 

Win Free Data of up to 10GB in the 2nd Annual ReviewNaija Contest!!!

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Nigeria’s premiere online company review website, ReviewNaija (RN), is back with their annual giveaway. The rules are simple. Like their page on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, and send in a review of any Nigerian organization of your choice. Ten reviews would be chosen by the RN team, and then readers would get to pick the top 5 reviews via an online voting system.

The author(s) of the 5 reviews with the highest votes win data ranging from 2-10GB on ANY network in Nigeria!

Pretty easy right?

Prizes for the top 5 winners!

1st – 10GB free data on ANY Nigerian network!

2nd – 8GB free data on ANY Nigerian network!

3rd – 6GB free data on ANY Nigerian network!

4th – 4GB free data on ANY Nigerian network!

5th – 2GB free data on ANY Nigerian network!

Other Details:

  • Contest runs from June 23 – July 23. Top 10 will be announced by July 26. Voting opens July 27 12am EST and closes Aug 2nd 11:5pm EST. Winners will be announced Aug 3rd and awarded prizes
  • Reviews sent in prior to or after the submission dates will not count towards the contest
  • Failure to follow the outlined rules as is will lead to your review being withdrawn from the contest
  • Multiple reviews strongly encouraged!
  • Click here to start submitting reviews right away!

For more information, visit our ReviewNaija 2014 Contest page here! Also, check out last year’s winning review here, and view pictures of our 2013 contest winner here!

Miss Gidi’s guide to Surviving the World Cup Season

Incase you’re stuck under a rock somewhere, it’s World Cup Season..yayyyyy!! -_- and if you happen to be Nigerian you know that Nigerian MEN love football, the exception is meeting one that does not (and that’s like one in every thousand).

I am not a football fan, actually I don’t watch any form of sporting event but I understand that in order to date a Nigerian man, you need to know the basics especially how to tolerate a few games for the remainder 26 days of the World Cup Season (who’s counting really?). So here is Miss Gidi’s guide to surviving the World Cup 2014:

1. YOU ARE A PATRIOTIC NIGERIAN

That is if you are Nigerian, as much as our Super Eagles have set the record of the first goalless match this world cup season, it is important to note that you support Nigeria. You should get a customized Nigerian Jersey, take a few pictures and share on all social networks. When Nigeria is out of the game, then you are African!

2. KNOW THE GAME TIMES

Today's lineup

It is important that you have an idea when the teams will be playing to avoid unnecessary arguments, that way you know when not to bother him or be heartbroken when he switches date times so he can watch the game. or worse, go on a date with him and notice how he’s not listening to anything you say because he is either watching the match on the TV behind you or checking his phone for updates.

3. BE  PART OF THE GAME

If you choose to watch a game with him then please be prepared to be a part of the game. Be there! Be enthusiastic! I’m not saying scream and yell because it would be obvious that you are trying too hard, but be able to have a conversation or 2. The last thing he wants is to notice that you are bored and you’re making him look like a terrible guy for subjecting you to 90 minutes of torture (that’s if he cares of course)

4. HE WILL HANG OUT WITH HIS BOYS THIS SEASON…A LOT

I don’t think I need to explain anything here.

5. HAVE FUN WITH IT

Or at least try…whether it’s making fun of the fans on TV, or drooling on the hot guys playing (*cough*)…the point is to have fun. My way of having fun is  occasionally picking the teams to support based on the number of cute guys I see on the squad…you can say whatever you want but it works for me. :p

6. BE READY TO PLAY HOST

This may be a bit extra for some ladies but if you are already in a relationship and you know he’s going to watch the game with a few friends at his place, then make provision for little bites like small chops or cocktail bites and drinks of course. Playing host is usually better when it is Nigeria playing (or it’s the final) and if some of his friends have girlfriends/wives that you can gossip with while the men  be their usual arm-chair analysts.

7. DON’T BE CLUELESS

It’s 2014, Google is your best your friend. Simply type in World Cup 2014 and you can get anything you want to know, times, scores…e.t.c. Asking the question ‘Did you watch the match?’ is usually a good way of starting up a conversation, remember to change the topic though before you are drowned with terms that you know nothing about.

That’s it, my 7 tips to surviving the World Cup Season …if you care to know…… as for the ladies trying to impress a guy this season well kudos to you and happy viewing 😉

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If you have additional tips of survival, please feel free to drop your comment below…

We’ve got mail: Is Lagos for me?

A special shoutout to everyone that reads from the ‘diaspora’…most times I am amazed when I check the stats and notice visits from places such as Kenya, Uganda, Malaysia and Italy… you guys absolutely rock! Anyway, today’s mail is from a reader in the diaspora who needs our input, so here goes:

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dear miss gidi

Hi Miss Gidi,

I’ve been up for a few hours reading your posts and I absolutely love you! I’ve never lived in Lagos but reading your posts makes me feel like I can trust you to always say the truth of what is going on in Lagos.

I am writing because I need your advise and maybe those of the readers who live in Lagos about my current situation. I got introduced to my current boyfriend a few months ago by a mutual friend and after 2 weeks of getting to know him, he asked me to be his girlfriend. It’s been 4 months now and even though most people think he is only interested in me because of my passport, I like to believe otherwise. This is the first time I’m dating a Nigerian who lives in Nigeria because I was born here and have lived here all my life.

Recently he started complaining about the distance in our relationship and has asked me to relocate to Nigeria so we can be close to each other. He has his own business in Lagos so him moving to America is not an option and he has promised to help me get a job in Lagos once I agree to move down. I’ve never been to Lagos and most of my friends who have moved back to Nigeria are in Abuja so if I moved down, I would be on my own and dependent on him which makes me a bit uncomfortable.

As someone who lives in Lagos, I would like to know what you think. It seems like you have lived outside Nigeria before even though it’s not clear from your posts so maybe you can compare both worlds for me and how you were able to adjust.  My family thinks it’s a crazy idea and disagree with my relocating because we have no family in Lagos but I have been giving it a lot of thought and I want to make this relationship work.

Please help me out

Tee

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Hey Tee,

Thank you for stopping by the blog and I really appreciate the trust you have in lil ol’ me, I try to be as unbiased as possible even though it’s very easy to only talk about the good things in Lagos.

It’s common knowledge that long distance relationships are not easy at all, so kudos to you for giving it a try. However, moving to Lagos is a tough decision, there is a lot of difference from what is projected in the media (fancy blogs included) and the reality we face here. Besides the usual poor power supply, bad roads e.t.c, you also have to worry about the cultural differences, expensive living, occasional angry drivers and many more.

It seems like you really care about this guy so I would recommend you visit  for about 3 months and have a feel of what it’s like living here. If you are a bit more adventurous then you could consider doing NYSC for a year, that way you will make friends, you won’t be completely dependent on him and most of all you get to experience the real Lagos while figure out if you can live here or not.

I know it doesn’t seem like I gave you enough options but that’s the best I can come up with. I grew up here, was only away for a few years for my university education and I came home every holiday so moving back was a smooth transition for me. I am sure there are a few people who may have been in your shoes and would be in a better position to give their opinion so I will put it out there  and hopefully you find the answers you need.

At the end of the day, please remember these are just opinions and the final decision is yours and yours alone.

Regards,

Miss Gidi

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I must confess this is a tough one for me so what do you guys think Tee should do?

If you want to reach out to me or share your own story on the blog, you can send an email to singleingidi@yahoo.com or follow SingleinGidi on Facebook, twitter and instagram 

Are we outnumbered?

On Monday, there was news all over the web about the experience of Miss Kemi Adetiba, a popular music video director, on her experience in a certain restaurant called Spice Route, located in the ever bubbling Victoria Island. The story is that Kemi was not allowed to go in without a male ‘escort’ because she happens to be single and in the eyes of management could also be a ‘prostitute’. Eventually she went in and like most millennials she turned to social media to rant about her disgust on the unfair treatment she got at this restaurant.

When I read about her story, a part of me was upset and somewhat irritated because it implied that every single woman in Lagos (including yours truly) could be mistaken for a runs chic (a.k.a escort, prostitute, cheap hoe e.t.c). I have been to Spice Route a few times but never had to experience this unfair treatment, well maybe because 2 of those times were for early dinners and the third was for an overpriced event but I have heard of lots of places (especially restaurants in hotels) in Lagos that do not allow single women to come in after a certain time for fear that they would be entertaining women of ‘easy virtue’.

On the other hand, I tried to imagine what I would do if I owned a restaurant in Lagos. To be honest, the number of ‘runs chics’ has increased exponentially, I mean who can tell these days? We all wear the same clothes, same weave and in some cases live in the same neighbourhoods. The only difference is that some of these runs chics are ‘free spirited and occasionally hang out at odd times, I say some because others are masked under ‘proper jobs’.

If you are a novice in Lagos, you probably wouldn’t notice this but those of us who live here can tell a mile away when a runs chic is in the area. So what’s a restaurant owner supposed to do to avoid having these kind of women coming into their restaurant and not lose their reputation as a classy spot in Lagos? Please do not get me wrong, I am in no way trying to justify the actions of the management of Spice Route or supporting gender discrimination but instead of knocking them down for their failed attempt maybe a coalition of decent single women living in Lagos can offer them a logical solution.

I remember when a friend called me ranting about her first encounter with a nosy neighbour, my friend had just moved into the penthouse of their building and was taking out time to know her neighbours (a very oyibo thing to do by the way). Anyway, Madam Nosy not caring about where my friend worked or what she did for a living, simply asked ‘Who is the man that paid for this place?‘, a subtle way of saying ‘Who is your sugar daddy?’ .

Of course we both laughed at her experience but with restaurants banning the entry of single women after a certain time, one can only wonder if the ‘decent’ single ladies who do not have to offer their bodies for any source of income are being outnumbered by runs chics.

This is actually disturbing or maybe we all just need to invest in false rings when we want to hang out after a certain time…I don’t know really, what do you think?

Work, Life & Love

Today’s post is a bit late because I didn’t have any post planed and  I’ve been caught up trying to get myself together…don’t worry I’m not moving out of Lagos (because that would mean closing down the blog) but today will be my last day at my current job. Yes, I am saying goodbye to the life of late hours and working on weekends to face one where I control my time to an extent. In a way, I am happy yet nervous at what life has to hold; although, if there’s anybody more excited than I am then it would be my mother.

Mama Gidi (like most mothers) is of the opinion that leaving this job would give me time to have  a social life, a healthy relationship and possibly get married within a year (okay i exaggerate but you get my point) while I am just happy to be chasing my dreams and doing what it is that I have always wanted to do but of course this isn’t about chasing dreams..it’s about having a work-life balance as a single person in a city like Lagos.

I must admit that having a demanding job can affect anyone’s social life negatively. I can recall how many times I have had to call off dates or hangouts because I had to work late and sometimes cancelling last-minute because something unexpected came up which needed my attention. It usually starts out small but eventually it becomes uncontrollable to the point that no one remembers that you even exist because you are now married to your job.

In our world of double standards, men with demanding jobs get away with this because the girlfriends/women always understand especially if it’s a good paying job ( gifts make the women happy I suppose). On one night while working on a deadline with colleagues, I noticed that my team lead (or supervisor) had his girlfriend over in the office, waiting for him before they would head out for the night. I remember leaving the office at midnight, assuring her that he would be done soon and they could go about their business for the night. That encounter made me think because God knows no naija man will wait for his woman to finish from work at almost midnight because wetin happen? Is she the only single woman in Lagos? …again maybe I exaggerate or maybe that one guy that told me I was not ready to settle down because of my crazy work hours was just irrational and insensitive.

If you look around you in Lagos, you will notice that a lot of women who are very successful especially in the financial industry tend to be single, I am not denying the fact that there could be other factors influencing this observation but is it possible that the lack of time for a social life could be a contributing factor? How can single women with demanding jobs find a balance or should we be picking flexible jobs so we can create that time?

I really want to know what the ladies think, please feel free to share your experience/thoughts and of course the men are welcome to share their opinion…

The Female Fine Art of Fronting

I had to ask Sims to respond to my last post on Understanding why women front. Like most women, I needed to know what men think and what they prefer…so far I am still confused sha, I guess that’s why women would never understand men but here is what Sims had to say

The WordSmith's Journal

Miss Gidi and I agreed we would do a guy/girl duet on the topic of fronting. So here it is.

Like many people out there and perhaps some of you readers, I’m of the opinion that fronting is unnecessary and silly. But then again, my complete lack of fronting led me to be so honest and upfront in one relationship, that I ended up going to the other extreme and becoming a victim of my own passion. But that’s for another day.

However, that experience has shown me a few things in recent years and it has led me to the conclusion that although its on the whole quite stupid, SOME level of fronting is required, especially for the ladies. I say some because you don’t want to go overboard and drive a good guy away (as pointed out by the ladies commenting on Single in Gidi), but you also don’t want the…

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Understanding why you MUST ‘front’

As a young lady, you are taught that the best way to tell a man Yes is by first saying No, *straight face*.

Apparently a man who works harder to get your attention will learn to appreciate you but of course there are exceptions to every rule, like my friend Ama that fronted for almost 2 years and still got treated like crap but I digress.

If you are like me, you’d  begin to ask questions such as ‘why must you say No when you really want to say Yes?’; ‘why must you act uninterested when you are quite interested?’; in summary, ‘WHY FRONT?’

Before I continue, please note that ‘fronting’ or ‘playing hard to get’ in this post simply means making men cross the ocean on foot or jump through hoops for the privilege of spending time with you and/or getting to know you. It does not mean delaying any sexual relationship until emotional intimacy has been established, which of course is the ‘right’ thing to do.

Single women in Lagos take fronting to a whole new level. I am talking pretending to be busy, not picking a call until after the fourth ring, ignoring messages for at least 2 days before responding, giving the impression that she has a lot of guys on her case when in reality she only has that one and so much more. One time, a friend offered me ‘advice’ to tell a guy I was going to see a movie with a few friends when I was actually just chilling at home reading through blogs and another time I was told to ‘offer’ a female friend to a guy I was getting to know so I could observe his reaction (like really?).  It seems that any man looking to chase a Lagos girl must lose sweat, blood and tears in order to get her attention because as they say, good things don’t come easy.

As someone who  prefers to say it as, I often find it difficult playing the dating game…what’s wrong with just being nice? or telling a guy you are feeling him? Do I have to follow the so-called rules that seem to change every year? To be honest, I think there are one too many rules on what to do and how to do it which in some cases make no sense and do not apply to all women. For instance, if Steve Harvey met some Naija boys, he would know that the 90 day rule does not apply to us because the men here will wait for 365 days, get the cookie and still walk away. Let’s not even bring up the short and long-term goals question because in a place like Lagos where hustling is a must, we know how to give those answers on the spot without batting an eyelid; so if you are a young lady roaming the streets of Lagos asking guys ‘What are your short and long-term goals?’ then I sorry for you.

I have tried understanding why women like to front or play hard to get and the reasons I got included

  • Wanting to feel desired – so she will make herself scarce and make the man put in more effort to get her attention either through constant calls or gifts (in Lagos, it’s usually gifts sha)
  • Not looking easy – so she won’t accept the first offer for a date, if she accepts too quick then the guy would think she is easy, desperate and jobless.
  • Men like the chase –   most Nigerian men have huge egos so making them work hard for the lady’s attention gives them the false sense of victory when she finally agrees to spend time with them.

Even with the above reasons, I still do not get it…what’s wrong with being you and not having to pretend? So once more I ask the ladies, ‘Why do women like to ‘front’?’  and for the men ‘Do you prefer a woman who fronts over one who is straight forward?’ 

 

The Office Crush

I have an office crush

No I don’t have a crush on someone in my office but I have someone who has a crush on me, actually make that 2 people but that’s not the point. The point is, as an advocate of #teamnoofficeromance , having to deal with such things could be very interesting especially in a society like ours where single ladies are expected to accept the advances of any eligible bachelor.

I know office crushes are quite common and if you’re single and your ‘crushee or crusher’ is as well, then you have almost nothing to worry about right? WRONG! Thing is, it could easily turn into something serious or a disaster. Sometimes these crushes get so bad that one of the parties involved would have to leave the company out of possible embarrassment or humiliation; that’s just too much drama to be honest and ain’t nobody gat time for that. Anyway, so I have an office crush, however, the problem is this crush is unwanted and I have no clue how to deal with it.

The other day, a colleague walked up to me and said ‘Ah Miss Gidi, you know Bode likes you right? That’s why he keeps coming around the office?’ I replied with a surprised face like I never noticed the constant visits, numerous compliments and the occasional ‘accidental’ phone calls on the office line. It is pretty clear that Bode has the hots for me but somehow in the middle of his persistence (because Lagos men do not take no for an answer) he fails to realise that I do not want anything personal to do with him.

What irritates me the most is the constant comments from other colleagues; comments such as, ‘Miss Gidi, Bode came by’, ‘Aren’t you Bode’s wife?’, ‘Aww see how he is just smiling because you said hello’, ‘But he’s a very nice guy o, just give him a chance’ and my favourite ‘Bode just told me he likes you, no dull o, so you can collect ring this year’ A constant reminder that due to my marital status of being single I am to jump for joy and accept the proposal from someone I do not like.

That being said, I have tried a few tricks I found on google to get rid of this unwanted office crush. My major issue has been trying to get the point across without hurting his feelings especially since there’s a high chance of seeing him every now and then. I’ve ignored his compliments hoping it would work (of course it didn’t) and recently, I passively yet intentionally mentioned the package delivered to my office was from a ‘boyfriend’ (that didn’t work either).

I don’t want to be mean, I am really trying not to be mean but how do you get rid of an unwanted office crush or unwanted crush in general?

As for Bode, I finally gave him a moment of my time on one of those slow days at work. I watched as he tried to put his thoughts together and suggest different things we could do together like clubbing or watching a football game (-_-) . At some point I found his comportment (or lack of) cute, until I started talking about intellectual blogs I follow and books I’ve read; I recognised the blank look on his face as I spoke, he knew nothing about the kind of things I spoke about, he didn’t even know who Chimamanda Adichie was.

Needless to say, I’ve gone back to ignoring him #missgidishrug