FOR THE LOVE OF MONEY

Heyyyy guys, I know y’all did not miss me since ImaRose has been holding it down on the blog. My sincere apologies for not updating as much as I used to, NO, it has nothing to do with planning a wedding (like ImaRose likes to hint), however it is a case of me feeling like a fraud, writing as a single person in the dating world when I don’t exactly have the material to talk about, it won’t be original but then again maybe I am over thinking it.

Moving on…

Last weekend, I was with a group of brides-to-be at an event when one of the ladies asked a question regarding finances and marriage. According to her, it was a concern that she earned significantly more than her fiancé so she needed advice on how to handle the situation. Of course, the guests had one thing or the other to offer but one thing they failed to ask was ‘how has he been in the relationship?’

Questions like hers, is one of the reasons why a lot of young men would rather be single than marry someone they love just because she earns more than he does. One thing we need to do as women is learn not to over emphasize our financial independence…especially in a relationship, I mean how would you like it if your boyfriend was always reminding you how he earns more than you do or if some guy you’re talking to decides the reason he didn’t want to be with you is because you didn’t have a ‘lucrative job’, or every time you had a conversation, he would bring up your financial status as a major concern.

I mean if the bros in question is paying his own bills and isn’t asking you for money why should his financial status be a reason for alarm, it shows that he is responsible and even though he may not be where he is to pay for your ‘luxury life’, he will be able to pay for important things like house rent, e.t.c. Too many young women are looking for sugar daddies instead of husbands or partners to grow with. It just sounds strange when I hear things like this or maybe I am strange…

I remember when I heard some guy I liked at a point in my life said he had a problem with my profession because I didn’t have a ‘good paying’ job according to his standard so he didn’t think it would work and another guy blatantly said he was a doctor so he needed a wife in the medical field so their combined income could afford them a good life…therefore, Ms Gidi didn’t cut it.  Now that I think about it, they both had something in common, they wanted women from their states and were doctors, in summary, they were both short-sighted.

Regardless of their myopic view on life, I remember feeling a bit upset when i heard that which brings me to my question for the day, should the financial status of your partner (male or female matter especially when they take care of their bills without your help?. And for the men, if the woman of dreams, earned significantly more than you do, what would you do?

Love,

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SINGLE BUT UNAVAILABLE

Miss Gidi here *phew* it has been a while and June has been one heck of a busy month. 

First of all, I would like to thank everyone that came out to support the play even on the rainy days when I thought no one would show up. The stage adaptation of the blog was indeed a success and an emotional experience for me, watching the words from this blog come to life. I should have official pictures from the last day of the play available soon for your viewing pleasure 🙂 …

Now on to today’s topic

UNAVAILABLE

A lot of times, I have come across people who are single, who say they want to settle down but yet happen to be unavailable…emotionally. Most times this emotional unavailability is either caused by a bad breakup, lingering feelings for the ex, fear of rejection or maybe because they have a higher priority at the time. In Nigeria, you tend to find this more with men than women, most emotionally unavailable Nigerian men claim they are looking to make money before thinking of committing but if you push harder, you’ll see that some are suffering from rejection while some have a girlfriend/wife somewhere in the world.

Recently I was having a conversation with a friend about some guy she has been talking to, they’ve been on a few dates and he has been a perfect gentleman. Her problem is, each time she feels they are moving ahead and getting closer, he disappears and by that I mean he stops communicating abruptly, gives her the cold treatment and then gives excuses for being busy. After a few weeks though, he comes back to his chummy ways, a few dates, lots of phone conversations and poof! he goes cold again.  This has been an interesting cycle in their friendship for the last six months and of course I could tell my friend was tired of it especially since she kinda likes him.

 

Like my friend, I have been a victim of this cycle in the past,  where you are confused as to what exactly could be going on and how to get out of it. The problem is, instead of walking away when we notice this abnormality, most of us (men and women alike) make that mistake of trying to ‘fix things’ and in the process end up hurting themselves, crying a river and saying things like ‘he hurt me and took advantage of  my emotions for him’. Since  ladies tend to be the victims of this more than the men, I’m going to focus on the women today.

Ladies, let’s be real with ourselves, when he is into you, it doesn’t take much for you to see it. He will show efforts, take you out, make you feel special, call more than ‘chat’, compliment you and so on and so forth.  If you are unsure or have to ask then it’s either he’s giving you conflicting messages or he’s not into you…you choose. Usually at this point, the question becomes ‘Why would he even be giving mixed messages? If he likes me then why won’t he just act right?’.

From asking a few guys (cause you know I always ask around) here are a few reasons why he’s giving mixed messages:

  1. He likes you but he’s not looking for relationship (for whatever reason) and doesn’t want to lead you on so he has to blow hot and cold  (this is a very common reason for a lot of guys)
  2. He likes you enough to want to explore things with you, but you seem to be a bit more eager than he is so he needs to back off every now and then to slow you down. You are a good girl, he knows that, he also knows you want to settle down but can you not put it in his face every time you speak to him. It kinda looks desperate sorry.
  3. He’s probably has some kind of relationship with another woman already #nuffsaid
  4. If you have given up the ‘cookie’, thennnn maybe just maybe he really doesn’t want anything more than a casual relationship in which sex is the center…in other words you are a just a booty call… ma binu
  5. He just wants to be friends because he’s just not up for the obligations, expectations and responsibility of a relationship at this very moment….again referring to #4, you may just be a good friend ‘with benefits’

So! not like my opinion may matter much to you, but instead of trying to fix things, ladies please walk away; stay friends if you can but walk away (emotionally).

Although, I have heard that some ladies like to hang around so whenever he becomes available, they would be on top of the list…*sigh* I won’t comment further on that today.

Whatever the case, do what’s good for you…preferably what keeps your sanity intact

 

Till next time,

LAST SHOWING OF #SINGLEINGIDI THIS SUNDAY

Sig cover

It has been a great month so far with 3 weeks and 6 beautiful shows but sadly Single in Gidi: The play is coming to an end in grand style this Sunday with 2 shows; 1 last show at 3:00pm and the Command performance at 6:00pm

Tickets: N3,000 for the 3:00pm show
               N5,000 for the Command performance at 6:00pm
Venue: Terra Kulture, Tiamiyu Savage, Victoria Island, Lagos

At the command performance, we’ll be having some delicious Santero Moscato Italian Wine courtesy Magna Villa Distribution Limited and some surprise performances.

Last week, there was the very ‘unexpected’ performance by the Supersun himself, BEZ, so you should expect a lot more this Sunday.

As we begin to ‘wrap up’, here are a few of my favourites so far:

And of course the tweets…

and the clip…

See you on Sunday 🙂

Love,

 

SINGLE IN GIDI: THE PLAY + GIVEAWAY WINNERS

SIG_IG (2)

As you may know, the stage adaptation of Single in Gidi, kicked off on Sunday and I must say, it was FANTASTIC. The actors brought the words the life and it was a whole new experience..it was so good that I had to wonder if I actually wrote those words LOL.

You probably think I am just talking so you can attend the next one but here are a few reviews on twittersphere

https://twitter.com/Shagari/status/607862858391670784

https://twitter.com/Shagari/status/607863004168876032

And some pictures

https://twitter.com/TitoLadi/status/607838330559033344

(yea Timi sure got a lot of attention from the ladies)

 

So what do you have planned for the weekend? I know! seeing Single in Gidi at Terra Kulture on Sunday by 3pm or 6pm 😉

 

On that note, the winners for the giveaway are 

https://twitter.com/ImPErFeKT_mE/status/606476309703888896

https://twitter.com/deaduramilade/status/606136438120411137

Please send an email to singleingidi@yahoo.com and I’ll let you know how you can get your tickets.

Love,

TYPES OF MEN IN THE LAGOS DATING SCENE

We all know Toke Makinwa, well if you don’t, Toke is an On air personality (OAP) with Rhythm 93.7fm, a television host and also a vlogger.

I watch her vlogs every once in a while, some I agree with and some I don’t, I think it’s her cheeky yet sarcastic humour (and the people who take her seriously) that makes me go back to watch her vlogs. Anyway, her recent vlog has to do with the types of men available in the lagos dating scene, on this one though, she expatiates on the 419ers and the daddy’s boys.

So what do you think? Do you agree with the two she listed and are there other ‘types’ that you may have come across?

I feel like there should be one on the types of women available in the lagos dating scene.

Have a great weekend

Love,

SHOULD SINGLE LADIES LIVE ALONE?

Happy Easter Everyone! Hopefully you’re getting enough rest as much as I am, there seems to be a lot going on in Gidi this holiday but yours truly decided to sleep all through (don’t judge me).

Anyway, I was going to write about house hunting and living single in Lagos but then I came across this YouTube clip and wanted to share before the actual post

So to all the single ladies that live alone in Gidi what are your thoughts? Someone once said to me that single ladies who live alone are seen as women ‘without control’ (like women need to be controlled)

And for the guys, does it even make a difference if she lives alone or not.

Love always

 

YOUR VOTE COUNTS

Hello my fellow people,

First of all we would like to congratulate every Nigerian for a successful and peaceful election in 2015. Now is the time to make amends if you fought with your partner/toaster/toastee because of your different political views. Elections are not over yet so remember to go out and vote on the 11th of April for your preferred gubernatorial candidate.

However, in the spirit of democracy, exercising our rights and having fun, the SIG team would like you to take a few seconds to vote below 🙂

Remember your vote counts.

Thank you for voting

RELATIONSHIPS, TRUST AND PASSWORDS

It has been a while since I (Miss Gidi) posted anything, not that anyone has noticed really  (:p) but Gidi life sure has a way of taking over daily living and somehow I end up postponing putting up a post (please forgive me). Luckily, I have a fab team of writers (and more joining soon) who help me out weekly and keep the blog alive while I hustle to pay the bills.

Over the weekend, a friend of mine buzzed me to know what my thoughts were on transparency in a relationship, why people think I am a great counselor on relationships, only God knows but she needed an unbiased opinion and somehow Miss Gidi came to mind.

When in a relationship, there’s usually the question of transparency, not with regards to dealing with the past (like we have discussed before) but with how much you should say to your partner about issues surrounding your life and most of all how much access you should give him/her to your social media accounts?

My friend had called me because after 2 years of dating her current boyfriend she felt it was time to give him more access into her life and by that I mean give him the passwords to all her social media accounts and her personal email. According to her, she had nothing to hide so it was only natural. In return (and I guess out of obligation) her boyfriend gave her access to his Instagram account only, which kind of made my friend a bit upset. Here she was, willing to take the risk and put everything on the table because she had nothing to hide and there he was, restricting the amount of access he could give to her.

Of course it has become a problem and she now has so many questions such as ‘why won’t he trust me?’ ‘but we’ve been together for a while now so shouldn’t this be normal?’ ‘if I’m willing to give him all why won’t he do the same?’ and yadi yadi yada. Her boyfriend though sees no reason to give her the password to every little thing especially since they have a relationship built on respect and trust for one another. She believes there is more to it; he must be hiding something, something that my affect their relationship negatively.

So she came to me, hoping for some validation I guess…and somehow I wasn’t on the same page with her.

See in my opinion, there should be some level privacy in a relationship, just because you are together no matter the length of time does not mean you have to give everything about yourself away. On the other hand I do not subscribe to secrecy in relationships so your partner should trust that they could always depend on you to be open and truthful to them when need be. For example, we could go through my emails or facebook messages together but you do need my password to ‘check’ anytime you feel the itch to.

Obviously my friend didn’t agree with my opinion, in her words “Boys have not shown me enough pepper in this life” so I decided to bring it up on the blog while she decided to go back to her initial plan of getting the passwords out of him by hook or by crook.

I believe she’s being unnecessarily paranoid and is at the verge of denting her relationship but I may be wrong so what do you think? Should she go ahead to push for the passwords or are you on my side for her to let it go? And if you’ve ever been or maybe you are in this situation right now, how did you handle it?

Use the comment box below to discuss

Love,

LIFE AFTER FEBRUARY 14

If you are single and in no relationship, my congratulations are in order because you just survived another year of Gidi women wearing red like olumba olumba members and your timeline being flooded with pictures and praises of boos and baes in the name of Valentine’s day

You have also survived the patronizing articles telling you the different ways to have fun and not feel bad about being single on this ‘great day’. Some of you may have gotten yourselves gifts and received flowers by a secret admirer (when we both know that admirer was you).

Or maybe you even attended a party organized for fellow single people living in Lagos and engaged in a session of pity partying, man bashing and saying valentine’s day is overrated when deep down you always wanted a valentine.

Then you went to bed on Saturday night, went to church on Sunday where your pastor probably preached about God’s love being the greatest and then you chilled. Now life is back to normal and no one asks you what you did for Valentine’s day anymore.

Not trying to sound like an anti-valentine activist but it amazes me the way single people especially women put so much pressure on themselves anytime February 14 is around the corner. After Christmas, Valentine’s day has to be the next big celebration for women around the world, it is also a form of validation that they are not alone and won’t die alone (I hope you have your sarcastic humour hat on).

So Valentine’s day is over…now what? Roses are withering, chocolates consumed and stuffed animals no longer get the ‘awww’ moment. Maybe a few of your friends got engaged and maybe some conceived (we’ll find out in 9 months) but at the end of the day one thing is certain and that is

THERE IS LIFE AFTER VALENTINE’S DAY

*drops mic*

PS – apologies for being MIA this week, I will be back with brand new posts. However make sure you get a copy of this month’s TW Magazine to see who got featured

Yup that’s us right there 🙂

 

WHEN HISTORY COMES KNOCKING

Most people over the age of 25 have a dating history, for some it’s a few paragraphs long while for others it could be a television series split into seasons and episodes. Having a dating history also comes with possibly having a few people you would like to remain ‘history’ but in a city like Lagos where everyone is somehow connected to everyone else, the chances of running into ‘history’ is quite high.

Over the weekend, while having drinks with some friends, the whole talk on how to handle seeing someone you would like to forget came up. Nkem, now married, talked about how she ran into her ex, Toyin, and how her heart dropped at the sight of him. Nkem and Toyin had been together for about three years, she loved him and she believed he loved her as well until she found out via Facebook that he had gotten married to another young lady that his family had handpicked for him. As expected, the breakup was a painful one but she survived, met another man who adored her and got married.

Many years have passed since she last saw Toyin and from what she hears the marriage to the handpicked bride collapsed but seeing him again after so many years brought back that anger that she once had each time she thought of him.

Kunle on the other hand is the cliché Lagos heartbreaker, with the smooth talking lips and breath-taking looks to go, he always has a way to woo even the toughest of the women. To be honest, if I didn’t know better, I would have fallen for one of his smooth talking antics but mehnnn Baba God won’t allow bad tin to happen to mei n this life. His problem though is running into the women he had played games with the past, especially the good ones. Recently he found out that some lady that he really wanted to start a serious relationship with was related and close to another that he had hurt in the past. Well, they no longer speak to each other but let’s just say the damage was done and now Kunle has to face the fact that his reputation precedes him in this Lagos. He is usually very happy when he meets single ladies who have heard nothing of the famous ‘Kunle Jones’.

Nkem and Kunle are on different sides of this issue and even though they do not agree on other things, one thing is for sure and that is, they both wish some parts of their lives could be erased especially when those people/things come knocking. I for one know that there are certain people who I avoid when I see in public because now I know better to stay away from such people than I did before.

So today my questions are, are there situations in your life or people you dated that you wish you could disown? And when history comes knocking, how exactly do you handle it? Do you get upset like Nkem or maybe like me you pretend not to remember who they are and move on quickly? 

Let’s talk about this

Love

 

 

P.S – Applications are open for a worthy valentine o 🙂