“When Boy meets Girl” is no longer enough

‘Miss Gidi you need to call this prophet, he’s really good, maybe he can tell you what the problem is, you need to get married soon’

Those were the words of a very concerned friend over my single status, to her it made no sense how a good girl who had everything going for her was still single, she always thought I would be the first to get married and right now it looks like I would be the last because I am not engaged and I do not have a serious boyfriend to show. Her verdict…it had to be spiritual, there had to be a spiritual force out there maybe from my village or from a rejected lover that has stopped me from moving ahead in this race for marriage, so now she is recommending a prophet, I mean if all the dating rule books have failed then a prophet had to be the answer…right?

I often hear of barren women who visit native doctors so they could get pregnant, young men who join certain cults to get rich quick, single ladies who consult spiritual means with pictures of suitors so they could get married. People now pass around recommendations for prophets, pastors and native doctors like it’s a new snack to try out. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that sometimes certain people may have one form of spiritual issue or the other but most times people are so impatient with life that they would do anything to fast forward events to get what they want when they want it.

Even with all of this in mind, I was shocked that I had to encounter such; I guess it was only a matter of time before someone would recommend a priest in some faraway village like in our Nollywood movies. What even shocked me some more was when I started doing my research, I found out that this has actually become a norm in Lagos, a lot of single women in Lagos are now turning to spiritual means so they could get married quick, some even have some supposed seers on speed dial so when they meet someone new, they simply text the guy’s name to the seer so prayers could begin. They say they are doing everything they can to solve their ‘problem’ …well I call it the highest form of desperation.

Anyway because Lagos is filled with gist, I was told about some girl called Aisha (obviously not her real name). Aisha had been in a relationship with Akin (not his real name) for a while and decided that in order for him to be faithful to her, she would go see some ‘baba’ that her friend Yewande recommended. Upon getting there, the baba tells Aisha that she needed to put something under Akin’s bed so when he falls asleep, he would think of no other woman but her and marry her quickly. So Aisha follows the plan, puts the item under Akin’s bed and then goes back to her home (I guess she didn’t want to keep thinking of herself). Unfortunately for her, Akin didn’t sleep in his room that night, he had ‘company’ over so he fell asleep in the guest room while his friend, Obi, slept in Akin’s room. I’m won’t go into further details on this gist, all I want to know is why Aisha didn’t just walk away from the relationship if she knew she could not deal with Akin’s infidelity, why stoop so low to such means?

Back to my conversation with my concerned friend, I let her know that I was not interested in her prophet. The only form of spirituality that I would be consulting is praying to my God to make me a better woman for the man who I would get married to at the right time and also making that man a better man for me.

So my advice, Ladies you need to stop acting like marriage is what defines your existence as human beings and focus on what is important like being better people to the society and to yourselves. Give yourself some respect and stop being so desperate…


I’m over this…

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