DECODING THE DATE NIGHT SCHEDULE

Is there a difference if your date falls on a weekday or a weekend? Should you be worried? I don’t think so but from research, here’s what the night of the week says about your date.

Monday Night:
Monday night is the direct opposite of “date night”: people are usually back at work, and back to their weeknight routines, maybe going to the gym or dodging the dreadful third mainland bridge traffic. Really, there is nothing ghen ghen about a Monday night…and that may be good for you. If someone schedules a date with you on a Monday it means they are eager to see you and they don’t want to wait for a more socially acceptable night of the week. If the date turns out great, then you might have a repeat on another date of the week.

Tuesday Night:
A Tuesday Night date can mean uncertainty: sure, they’ll grab a drink or see a movie with you but most times, they’re using you to wait out traffic. If things go well, it may turn into a late night. But really, for Tuesdays, the expectations are not high.

Wednesday Night:
By Wednesday night, most people have recovered from the weekend and are looking for a nice break in the stressful week. The beauty of Wednesday is that there is not much pressure because there is still work on Thursday so you don’t really have to worry how late into the night the date would be.

Thursday Night:
Thursday nights are decent: it’s almost the weekend, and people usually feel freer to stay out late on a Thursday than they do earlier in the week. Most times, a date is scheduled on a Thursday because the weekend might be booked or you both are going for an event scheduled for that day.

Friday Night:
This is the second best date night of the week. Everyone wants to do something on a Friday night and if they like you, you’re probably part of their plans for the night. The lack of work the next day obviously means a greater chance of staying out really late and throwing all caution to the wind. Also, Friday nights dates more often than not start out really late because people might want to stop at home, but not for long, freshen up and get ready to hit the streets. For ladies, Fridays means the freakum dress is out to play

Saturday Night:
This is GOLD in the date night schedule: the one day a week where you don’t have to work all day. Because Saturdays are so important, people often loathe the idea of wasting the whole day on someone they are not sure of. If someone makes plans with you for a Saturday night, they’re pretty sure that they’ll have as good a time hanging out with you. Ladies especially will take advantage of the extra time on Saturday to really get ready for the date, and dress up/face beat far more than they would on a weeknight.

Sunday Night:
Never accept a Sunday Night date. It’s the worst night of the week to go on a date. It’s often an afterthought too because you’ve spent the weekend with other important people but either you or the other party is trying to fulfill all righteousness. Chances are you won’t stay out late,  because you’re thinking of the work week ahead, you won’t drink too much cause you’re recovering from the weekend or you’re not trying to start the new week hungover and won’t spend too much cause you’re probably thinking of how much you spent on Friday and Saturday nights. Keep your Sundays for resting….unless of course there is a public holiday the next day, then really it’s not a ‘Sunday’

Disclaimer: These things are not set in stone and I am not trying to start a dating-days-rule-book/debate here, but think about it though, do you agree? Have you ever put the day of the week into consideration when picking a date or maybe it doesn’t matter to you if you have a date on a Sunday?

IDENTIFYING WHO TO DATE IN 2016

Happy new year Family!!! Yes it’s me again, Imarose and I know I have been MIA for a bit but don’t worry, it’s a new year and I will attempt to be better.

Have you ever been to a single-and-mingle event in Lagos? I have and I can tell you Lagos is full of some many single women, while every guy in Lagos is single; married-single and in-relationships-single, all men in Lagos always claim singleton. So much so that, Iranian, South African, Zimbabwean, Moroccans and Kenyans women full Lagos this festive season, all of them booked that hotel that has now turned runs-girls hostel Raddison Blue looking for these single men.

The other day, this Zimbabwean chick I went to school with came all the way from New York to mingle on account of, “God told her she will marry a wealthy Nigerian and because she happens to know the wealthiest woman in Africa, she brought herself here to try to mingle with one of her single sons or their cousins” *takes a deep breath*

The funny thing was we all hung out and her mark paid her no attention while her friend this other SA chick engaged to a Lagos boy was getting upset because her boo was too engrossed in a conversation with me about the declining Nigerian economy even though we just met. In my head I was like, see these foreigners o, we Lagosians never find our own husband finish and you are just going to come and in 10 days pick up yours from the streets of Lagos, just like that…wonders shall never cease

Back to the matter, jare…..

Most people who are dating are looking for the ideal partner, but why are so many of them having such a hard time in a city full of “single” people? That’s easy to answer. It’s because finding the ideal partner requires selective dating which a lot of people do not practice.

Selective dating is about identifying the type of person you date. It doesn’t mean being picky, it means not compromising on the things that are important to you, it means not compromising on your values and it especially means not compromising on your self-worth. Sounds easy enough, right? Not so much. Sometimes, single women will let important things slide and settle for the sake of having someone around or whiling away time while trying to keep that option open. If you are like me, seeing someone and keep options open is nearly impossible.

Today, after seven months trial of this experiment that yielded a positive result for me, I am here to say if you are really serious about finding love, be selective about who you date … here’s why;

So what ARE the best traits to look for in a partner? Well, luckily someone has done the thinking for us. I was reading an article from Samantha Joel that stressed the importance of responsiveness in a relationship. What does that mean? Well, the author defined it as “someone who makes you feel understood, validated, and cared for ” because “it’s easier to work out relationship issues, big and small, with a partner who’s more responsive rather than less“.

She goes on to characterize a responsive partner with three important traits: Understanding, Validating, and Caring. Understanding partners are partners understand that feelings are not right or wrong, they are just feelings and everyone has a right to theirs. They also Validate your point of view by making you feel respected and important to them (even when they don’t agree with you).

Lastly, a responsive partner is Caring – they are concerned for your well-being, communicate with you and express affection. These traits ultimately are what keep relationships going in the longer term. Remember Mr October? I kept waiting for him to change, disappoint me, disappear or minimize contact, yet it keeps getting strong, I can’t chase Mr October away, so I have committed it into God’s hands. Recently, we had our first fight and he was still caring and considerate of my crazy-ass even though his stubborn behind didn’t agree with me and I was like finally, so this is what this should feel like

They also ensure that you will always resolve disagreements with ease and no fear of staying in your feelings and feeling the heck out of them even when they don’t make sense. .

What does that have to do with dating? Miss Gidi just got married ask her! I feel happily ever after and forever has everything to do with your choice in partner. When you choose right, you typically end up in a better place. That’s true for everything in your life. It’s all about quality. Problem is that we’re too anxious and in a hurry to end the singleton disease, hence, we lose sight of the true end goal; happiness.

We tend to forget what really makes us happy. What’s the solution? You need to practice selective dating which means:

  • being happily single
  • enjoying the process and forgetting the outcome
  • being aware of red flags
  • listening to your gut instincts about someone
  • being true to you

So there you have it. Something to think about this new year.

Everyone deserves an ideal partner.

 

Love,

ImaRose