The Office Crush

I have an office crush

No I don’t have a crush on someone in my office but I have someone who has a crush on me, actually make that 2 people but that’s not the point. The point is, as an advocate of #teamnoofficeromance , having to deal with such things could be very interesting especially in a society like ours where single ladies are expected to accept the advances of any eligible bachelor.

I know office crushes are quite common and if you’re single and your ‘crushee or crusher’ is as well, then you have almost nothing to worry about right? WRONG! Thing is, it could easily turn into something serious or a disaster. Sometimes these crushes get so bad that one of the parties involved would have to leave the company out of possible embarrassment or humiliation; that’s just too much drama to be honest and ain’t nobody gat time for that. Anyway, so I have an office crush, however, the problem is this crush is unwanted and I have no clue how to deal with it.

The other day, a colleague walked up to me and said ‘Ah Miss Gidi, you know Bode likes you right? That’s why he keeps coming around the office?’ I replied with a surprised face like I never noticed the constant visits, numerous compliments and the occasional ‘accidental’ phone calls on the office line. It is pretty clear that Bode has the hots for me but somehow in the middle of his persistence (because Lagos men do not take no for an answer) he fails to realise that I do not want anything personal to do with him.

What irritates me the most is the constant comments from other colleagues; comments such as, ‘Miss Gidi, Bode came by’, ‘Aren’t you Bode’s wife?’, ‘Aww see how he is just smiling because you said hello’, ‘But he’s a very nice guy o, just give him a chance’ and my favourite ‘Bode just told me he likes you, no dull o, so you can collect ring this year’ A constant reminder that due to my marital status of being single I am to jump for joy and accept the proposal from someone I do not like.

That being said, I have tried a few tricks I found on google to get rid of this unwanted office crush. My major issue has been trying to get the point across without hurting his feelings especially since there’s a high chance of seeing him every now and then. I’ve ignored his compliments hoping it would work (of course it didn’t) and recently, I passively yet intentionally mentioned the package delivered to my office was from a ‘boyfriend’ (that didn’t work either).

I don’t want to be mean, I am really trying not to be mean but how do you get rid of an unwanted office crush or unwanted crush in general?

As for Bode, I finally gave him a moment of my time on one of those slow days at work. I watched as he tried to put his thoughts together and suggest different things we could do together like clubbing or watching a football game (-_-) . At some point I found his comportment (or lack of) cute, until I started talking about intellectual blogs I follow and books I’ve read; I recognised the blank look on his face as I spoke, he knew nothing about the kind of things I spoke about, he didn’t even know who Chimamanda Adichie was.

Needless to say, I’ve gone back to ignoring him #missgidishrug

Single and Smooth in Lagos (Part 2)

I should have come up with a better title instead of a failed attempt to sound like a badly scripted Nollywood movie but hey you can cut a sister some slack right? Anyway, after the last post I decided to send my profile to Jumoke..I know, scary! but the inquisitive side of me wanted to know how much response and the kind of men that would be attracted to the simple complexity. So yesterday, Jumoke read out my profile on Smooth 98.1, and it attracted a few men but only 10 scaled through the gruelling process that Jumoke put them through which included math questions, what they could cook, and genre of music they listened to.

Sadly I could not use Miss Gidi because Jumoke insisted on having a ‘name’  so I gave her ‘Amaka’ and I got to have a chat with her minutes before the show. Jumoke is really cool by the way and I was surprised by the response the profile received; it was an amazing experience and here are a few things I learned from it:

1. Some men are reckless – I know this is not news but when a certain man called in and said ‘I would like to know that Amaka of a girl’ the first thing that came to my head was ‘oh hell to the no, I don’t speak reckless’

2. Not everyone knows the importance of Google – Even though it is forgiven that most people do not know the meaning of sapiosexual, I  expected that the callers would ‘google’ the word before calling in. Some dude claimed to be sapiosexual, then admitted he didn’t know the meaning when put on the spot by Jumoke before he eventually said he was sexually attracted to my profile #pause -_-

3. Most men can cook  stew – Each time Jumoke asked what meals the caller could cook, they always mentioned stew (and indomie), a few could cook things outside the usual but at least now you know no one can go wrong with rice and stew. There was the one guy that said he could cook everything because he used to work as a chef in a hotel but if I remember clearly,  I said a man who knew his way around the kitchen not one who lives in there. 

 4. Some men want intelligent women – To everyone that says Nigerian men only love dumb women so they can control well this experience has proved you wrong. Some Nigerian men like women they can have proper conversations with and who know what they want, so if you are yet to meet one of those men,  maybe you need to send your profile to Jumoke. :p

 5. Always be yourself – This experience has proved that you don’t need to ‘edit’ your personality or profile to suit what is in popular demand. Be yourself and those that like you will step up to you at the end of the day. I actually expected no one to call in based on the ‘strict’ demands but a lot of intelligent men did, by the way, 10 has to be highest number of men that has called to show interest on any profile being read on air. (would need to confirm from Jumoke)

Picking a ‘finalist’ was not only fun but a bit difficult; of the 10 that got through, there were a few interesting ones like Frank the documentary film maker, Ayo the singing Accountant, Chris the indomie slayer and Mr Kym the multi-talented. Each of them had striking personalities that made me want to know more but I could only choose one.

I ended up picking the gentleman who was able to have a proper conversation with Jumoke, possessed a good sense of humour, showed the most interest by texting to ask for the station’s numbers so he could call (50 naira for text is not small money), spoke quite well and didn’t see a need to talk down on any of the other callers who called in so he could be picked.

 

I chose Mr Kym, the business analyst by day and DJ by nights and weekends.